The Morning After Harry Potter 7.2

Warning: If you want to see the movie, don't read this.

So, I kind of feel like the only person in my news feed on Facebook who doesn't have some synonym of the word "awesome" followed by several hundred exclamation points to describe the Harry Potter movie. And I feel like a cynical, horrible person for this.

Don't get me wrong, I liked the movie. The first 100 minutes of it, at least. But then . . . I don't know. Was I expecting the illustrated version of Harry Potter and that's why I'm disappointed? Well, maybe. It's just such an epic ending. Full of Christian themes and triumphant battles even after they thought Harry was dead and gripping conversations between Voldemort and Harry.

Whereas this, well . . .

HARRY: I'm at King's Cross. But it's clean.

DUMBLEDORE: Oh, that's nice. Well, I've got to go now.

HARRY: Wait! So Snape's patronus was a doe? So was my mother's! Isn't that a bit . . . odd to you?

DUMBLEDORE: That's a really lame question. Didn't you want to know, for example, why you're not dead? Or learn why Aberforth had a grudge against me? Or why I don't have the ponytail in my beard right now? Um, yes. Snape has a doe for a patronus. No, that's not weird. I'm outta here!

Later

VOLDEMORT: (laughing) Harry Potter is dead!!!

NEVILLE: No he's not! He's alive in here! (points to his torso).

VOLDEMORT: In your stomach?


NEVILLE: No! In my heart! In all of our hearts! So what if he died? We can still fight you. He wasn't that good, anyway.

(murmurs of approval from the crowd)

HARRY (Pretending to be dead in Hagrid's arms): (thinking) Okay, this is getting out of hand. Hagrid's not even crying! The only one who cried was Ginny. That's it. I'm rolling out of Hagrid's arms this minute and putting these people in motion.


NEVILLE: Hey, a sword!

HARRY (to Voldemort): Tag, you're it!

A great chase scene ensues between the two. During the chase scene Voldemort hangs Harry, but he lives and manages to escape.

HARRY: Let's finish this how we started it. Together.

VOLDEMORT: What does that even meeaaaan (starts falling with Harry)


HARRY: Well, he's no Firebolt, but he'll do.

They land on the ground and pick up their wands in what should be an epic duel, or at least a gripping conversation. Instead,

VOLDEMORT: Avada ke--

HARRY: Care bear stare!

Together, they build us a rainbow of red and green.

HARRY: (thinking)  Since when have I been able to duel with Voldemort? He must be overrated.


VOLDEMORT: (thinking) I knew I shouldn't have gotten the Elder Wand from that Blue Light Special! Why did I leave my other wand at home?

Meanwhile, back at the ranch . . .

HERMIONE: I don't like snakes! And I'm not very good at blasting them to pieces! Why didn't Neville kill this snake 10 minutes ago? Why didn't Harry tell Neville to kill this snake instead of breaking our hearts when he left to go into the forbidden forest?

RON: Because we had to make this cooler than any Indiana Jones movie! Blimey, I hate snakes too. Oh no, it's cornered us!

NEVILLE: Don't worry, I'll have my moment. I've got to make the ladies cheer! (slices the head of the snake off right when it's about to eat Hermione and Ron.)


Harry comes back in.

HARRY: So, no big deal, but I just killed Voldemort. At first I wasn't sure, but then my care bear stare overpowered his avada kedavra, so I guess that means it hit him. It took him a few minutes to disintegrate, but I'm pretty sure he's gone now.

EVERYONE ELSE: Oh, that's nice. But we want hot cocoa for breakfast so don't bother us.

Later

HARRY: Surprise! I'm the master of the Elder Wand! It's me.

RON: So what are you going to do?

HARRY: I'm going to snap this millennium-old twig in two and toss it into the lake.

HERMIONE: Wait! You won't have any wands after this besides Malfoy's, which you really should return! Can't you at least use this wand to fix your other wand?

Harry snaps the wand in two and throws it as if he didn't hear Hermione

RON: dumbstruck


And then there was the epilogue. My biggest complaint with that was that Harry's parents looked older when they were killed at the age of 21 than Harry, Ginny, Ron, Hermione, and Malfoy did at the age of 36-37. But now I'm just nitpicking.

Anyway, the rest of the movie was great! I guess I just had such high hopes for the ending when I should have realized that since it was a Harry Potter movie, it had to mess important things up. Now that I know this, I should be more okay with it the next time I see it.

I'm going to go have some hot cocoa for breakfast now.

Disney Channel Movies

Kevin commented the other day that we probably spend more time together than most couples we know. And it's probably true. We now sit by each other at work, so unless one of us has something going on that the other doesn't (think visiting teaching or home teaching), the only time we're really apart is when Kevin leaves for work 20 or so minutes before me (because I'm lazy in the mornings) or for bathroom breaks.

You might think after all the hours together we might get on each others' nerves, but so far that really hasn't happened yet. For one thing, Kevin's perfect, so he will never get on my nerves and he's too patient to ever let me get on his nerves. For another thing, there's not a whole lot from day to day we find to disagree on. Kevin is just as likely to suggest Sense and Sensibility to watch as I am, and I am just as likely to suggest, say, Spiderman as he is.  We both like any food Mexican or Indian or Chinese. We have similar long term goals and dreams. It's no wonder that people refer to us as "Kyrvin."

By this point, you probably want to remind me that differences are important to a relationship. We're unbalanced because one of us doesn't hate science and cleave to the humanities. We're not learning and growing because neither of us brought different things to the marriage relationship.

Those statements may have some truth to them, but honestly I'm not worried. You see, Kevin and I might be too much the same, but I've already anticipated what our kids are going to be like.

They're going to be the kind Disney Channel makes movies about.

I can see it now. A fun-loving, easygoing, adventurous kid born to uptight, academically-oriented parents (can you see it already?). And this fun-loving kid will want to become the world's best, um, hoverboarder (because  it will be after 2015, and Back to the Future II told us there would be hoverboards in 2015). And of course the uptight, fun-hating parents will not approve, because they don't like the lifestyle and want the kid to go to some magnet school so he can be a "benefit to society." Luckily for the kid, he may not have inherited the parents' love of science and technology, but he did inherit their capability to succeed. So of course he wins all the hoverboarding competitions and becomes the best (junior) hoverboarder in the world. Then he sets his parents aside and has a talk with them about dreams and how he can benefit society by hoverboarding, and the parents ultimately realize that not everyone has to be an engineer, so they totally support him from then on.

I can totally see it. Kevin says the last sentence is the most unlikely part of the story, at least for him. I'm guessing it'll be called Hoverin' Moon or something catchy like that.

I guess my point is, I'm not too worried that we're too much alike.