Sad Saturday

Note: This is the Holy Saturday (I think of it as Sad Saturday) post for my Holy Week series.

6. Jesus wept. - John 11:35

Sometimes I've wondered why Jesus waited three days to become resurrected. Why not come back from the dead the next morning? Why makes his friends wait in confusion and sadness for so long?

Maybe He was teaching them that sometimes, it is good to sit with sadness. Sometimes, it is good to be sad.

.

Opposite Day

This is my Good Friday post as part of my #Because of Him Series.

4. "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." -- John 15:13
Because of Him, we can hope for things we cannot see.

"But why is it called Good Friday if something bad happened?" my son asked me today. It's the same question we've probably all had.

It's a day of paradox, a day of contradiction. Jesus died, which was bad. But He needed to die, so it was good. Bad men crucified Him, so they were following Satan. And yet God used the actions of the bad men to bring about the Atonement and Resurrection. It's all confusing.

And then there's this matter of resurrection. If you grow up believing it, it's no problem at all to accept that after we die, we can be resurrected. But imagine trying to convince a scientist of it.

"But," they might say, "how can a body become immortal? How can you overcome the second law of thermodynamics? What justification do you have for believing something so completely opposite of what we have observed about bodies since the dawn of time?"

For that matter, what justification do we have for believing anything Christ taught? He said "Whosoever will save his life shall lose it" (Luke 9:24). But that's not what we experience here and now. We see time and time again that might makes right. We see evidence daily that money and power can get us anything the world can offer. We see that putting ourselves first ensures our own successes. And life is short, so we might as well get what we can while we can.

. . . But that bleak view of the world is not the only view. We see that bullying often wins, but so does altruism. We see that putting power in the hands of the underprivileged -- such as giving education to mothers -- benefits the whole society. We see that when we care about others' needs, we can come up with remarkable innovations that bless many lives. When love defines our motives, we begin to see glimpses of the kingdom of God.

So yes, maybe the laws of physics and entropy and scarcity are accurate, but perhaps they are incomplete. Perhaps they work best in a world focused on oneself rather than on others. Maybe a world turned upside down, where the last shall be first and the first shall be list, is the realer world after all.

And if we can see that Christ's instructions for the kingdom of God create the reality we prefer to the nasty, brutish, and short life created by the fall of Adam, perhaps it's not so foolish to believe His promise that the kingdom of God could contain something as incredible and expansive as resurrection, as heaven, as a loving and powerful God. Perhaps, as C. S. Lewis said in The Great Divorce,

All Hell is smaller than one pebble of your earthly world: but it is smaller than one atom of this world, the Real World. Look at yon butterfly. If it swallowed all Hell, Hell would not be big enough to do it any harm or to have any taste'

'It seems big enough when you're in it, Sir.'

'And yet all loneliness, angers, hatreds, envies, and itchings that it contains, if rolled into one single experience and put into the scale against the least moment of the joy that is felt by the least in Heaven, would have no weight that could be registered at all. Bad cannot succeed even in being bad as truly as good is good. If all Hell's miseries together entered the consciousness of yon wee yellow bird on the bough there, they would be swallowed up without trace, as if one drop of ink had been dropped into that Great Ocean to which your terrestrial Pacific is only a molecule'

Good Friday was terrible. It was confusing. It was devastating. But the senseless death of a carpenter from Galilee meant so much more than any of them could imagine. Good Friday was bad, but it was  just the tiny atom of Hell that seemed so formidable until Christ confronted it personally and proved it had no power against the hugeness and goodness of God.

And if Christ can transform a bad Friday into Good Friday, then we have so much reason to hope in all of His promises.

Birth

Note: This is my Maundy Thursday #BecauseOfHim post.

4. Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God. -- John 3:5

Because of Him, everyone has the opportunity to come closer to God.

In John 3, we read:

3 Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.

4 Nicodemus saith unto him, How can a man be born when he is old? can he enter the second time into his mother’s womb, and be born?

5 Jesus answered, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.

6 That which is born of the flesh is flesh; and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.

7 Marvel not that I said unto thee, Ye must be born again.

Well, I confess that I have marveled at this concept day after day. I have wondered the same question as Nicodemus -- can a person enter the second time into his or her mother's womb and get a fresh start? Can someone simply accept Christ and have that be sufficient? Can someone overcome a life where most everyone they know does drugs, where they went to bed hungry and scared, or where they were exposed to heavily thematic or pornographic materials from a young age? Can someone accept Christ and suddenly become a 100% church attending, scripture-studying, Word of Wisdom-keeping, dependable person?

With God all things are possible, but I have seen that that is a very, very, very tall order. It is so, so hard for people to attend church regularly for so many reasons. It is so, so hard to get out of poverty, especially when there are health issues. And we do what we can -- in our ward, for example, we have self-reliance classes and welfare and home teachers and visiting teachers and auxiliary leaders who try to reach out -- but it is not easy for the person in need or the people who are trying to help. 

And so I asked myself a variation on Nicodemus's question -- can someone who is not born to a life of privilege attain a life of privilege as if they were born again? Then, I had another question pop into my head -- do they have to be? Does someone have to have a life like an upper middle class child -- where they heard 30,000 words a day from parents, where they always had nutritious food and sanitary conditions, where they learned good manners and to return phone calls and emails, where they never even considered stealing or doing drugs because no one else they knew would ever do that -- in order to make it to heaven?

And I realized, that's not what Jesus was saying at all. What matters is that we have to be born of the Spirit. We have to have that spiritual awakening -- that realization that there is more to the universe than us and our own needs, the realization that there is a God who has rules that we've been breaking, the realization that we need a Savior -- and anyone from anywhere can have that experience. Anyone with a humble heart can be born again. Everyone, regardless of their privilege or talents, must be born again to enter the kingdom of God.

I have been lucky to be in wards where I've seen such humble, wonderful people join the church and be instantly welcomed into the family. Yet in these wards, there still are many, many names in the ward directory that I haven't recognized. I'm starting to appreciate what a foreign concept it might be to come to church every single week, to accept callings, and to be immersed in this culture often defined by middle-class, college-educated people from the western United States. And then on top of that, some might not have a reliable way to get to church!

And yet, even if they don't come each week or accept callings, they still were born again. They still had that wonderful experience with the Holy Ghost that gave them the desire to be be baptized. Perhaps we do not have all the resources to help make church attendance a habit as natural as breathing, perhaps some have not remembered the goodness of God that they felt when they first repented (Mosiah 4:11), but God watches over them just as he does the babies in the NICU who are still figuring out their lungs. Christ travailed for them, and He will not abandon them.

Law

Note: This is my third Holy Week post. 

3. Cleanse first that which is within the cup and platter, that the outside of them may be clean also. -- Matthew 18:26

Because of Him, we know the law.

Chemotherapy. Dialysis. Debriding. These are all terms that I've used to describe the Me Too movement. We have seen that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men as soon as they get authority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion. (D&C 121:39.)

And we've seen that all the attempts to cover sins, gratify pride or ambition, and exercise control and compulsion are starting to finally fail, and fail spectacularly. It is painful, it is tragic, and it is important.

I've had to ask myself why I've felt grim satisfaction in seeing people like Harvey Weinstein lose everything they had. Is it that I want to see people suffer when they've caused other people to suffer? No. I can't truly be happy about anyone else's pain, even if it is self-inflicted. 

Is it that I want to see justice? Yes, but that's not the whole answer. I feel like I can explain it better with housing than with sexual assault. We all know stories of bad landlords. Maybe we've had bad landlords. Although I have a good landlord, I see the effects of corruption and incompetence from other landlords almost every day. I hear of dishonest landlords who take money out of the deposit for no legal reason, property managers who take pride in slumlording some parts of town and racking up prices in other parts, real estate agents who sell houses with angry squatters in them, and city officials and landlords who promise to clean up the lead in backyards but quit before the job is even a tenth of the way done, rendering the whole procedure useless. I do want to see justice -- I want people to win lawsuits that they should win, I want corrupt people to spend time in prison if that's what the law requires -- but more than that, I just want the problems to be solved. I just want people to not have to devote any mental energy to housing problems, period!

And it's the same for the Me Too movement. I wish I could make a time machine and prevent any sort of abuse to start with. Since I can't, I just hope that the survivors can heal and not have it hurt their lives anymore.

But even more than that, I want a world where fewer people have to be survivors, a world where people in positions of power could not brazenly assume that they would get away with hurting people. This is why I view the Me Too movement with grim satisfaction -- it is the undoing of the secret combinations that first allowed such behaviors. It is ensuring that predatory behaviors have consequences. It means that more children will grow up knowing how to treat those around them, and that we won't tolerate corruption of any kind.

Jesus Christ did not just spend His ministry performing miracles. He taught the law and had strong words for those who disobeyed it. He called people vipers and whited sepulchres (Matthew 23:27, 33). He did not mince words about abuse (Matthew 18:6-9):

6 But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.

7 ¶ Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!

8 Wherefore if thy hand or thy foot offend thee, cut them off, and cast them from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life halt or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into everlasting fire.

9 And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire.

It is wondrous and glorious to have an Atonement to reconcile us to God, but it is also crucial that we have a clear idea of the God we are being reconciled to. Throughout the scriptures and especially throughout Christ's mortal ministry, His law is taught repeatedly. And we learn quickly that He is not a God that is patient with unrighteous dominion, with dishonesty, or with unkindness (especially toward one's spouse). When we truly follow Jesus Christ, we are not patient with those behaviors either, and we do not reward them in our laws or culture.

I don't know how long the Me Too movement will continue, and I don't know how many other important people's sins will be uncovered in the process. I do know that we can start fresh, that we can teach laws and consequences, agency and accountability.  Christ has taught us the way to go.

Good

Note: This is my second #BecauseOfHim post during Holy Week on teachings from Jesus Christ that can apply to us right now.

2. "There is none good but one, that is, God." -Matthew 19:17

Because of Him, we don't have to be perfect. And our friends don't have to be perfect.

I think we all know we're not perfect. But if pressed, we'd rather say we have imperfections like "I leave cupboard doors open," or "I like to eat lots of Oreos in one sitting." But really, sometimes we're talking about real things. Sometimes our imperfections really hurt other people. Sometimes our imperfections make it hard for an organization to run smoothly. 

Let me give an example of one of my own imperfections. I've learned that, especially around women, I try to agree. After all, as I said yesterday, everyone has little bits of truth. But then later I realize that I don't fully agree with someone, and they probably were entitled to hearing a different perspective, especially if there were facts I knew that they didn't. This might not seem like a fault, but I have seen how it has perhaps perpetuated a few problems that didn't need to be perpetuated.

Perhaps other people have other similar faults -- faults that don't necessarily get in the way of day-to-day function, faults that aren't addictions or malicious intents or anything like that. But when we start working with other people, when we have to make decisions that affect other people, those faults come out without our even realizing it. We might not be good at listening, at delegating, at organizing, at speaking tactfully, or any other number of things. And while we're discovering these things about ourselves, people can be marginalized, offended, and hurt.

There have been times where I've realized that no matter what I said or didn't say, it feels like I did the wrong thing. It's in those moments where I realize how desperately I need Christ -- I know for a fact I am not good enough on my own, and I can't pretend anymore that I've got my act together. But He is good enough, and what's more, He is good. He is the source of all good and all light, and because of that He has the power to take away my frustration and replace it with peace and hope. It's because of Him that we don't have to project false images of perfection to those around us -- He is perfect, so we don't have to be. It's because of Him that we can forgive each other for not being perfect. 

And it's because of Him that we can let go of our imperfections and gradually become good like Him.

Truth

During the past few weeks, I've been thinking a lot about Easter. I've been thinking about how Christ's ministry and message can affect us right here, right now.

President Russell M. Nelson taught in April 2017, "There is no amorphous entity called 'the Atonement' upon which we may call for succor, healing, forgiveness, or power. Jesus Christ is the source." What that means to me is that to understand the Atonement, to understand Who and What we are to become "at one" with, we need to pay attention to Christ's life and ministry. As I have sat and thought on several topics, various scriptures have come to mind. Over this Holy Week, I will share some of these thoughts.

1. "I am the Way, the Truth, the Life." -- John 14:6

 Because of Him, we do not need any false idols. Truth is enough.

In so many political debates these days, I feel like everyone is so attached to their little corner of facts that it's hard to reconcile all the ideas. For example:
"It's not about the guns. It's about bullying."
"There's no such thing as a good guy with a gun."
and so forth.

I have seen how people's beliefs become what they worship -- what they cling to, what they adore, what they will sacrifice everything for.

And frankly, it seems silly. I have realized that if we are built upon the rock of our Redeemer (Helaman 5:12), then we don't need to become attached to any set of ideas. When we no longer have allegiance to ideologies, we have freedom to look at facts without bias and search for truth. The question no longer becomes "Who is right about gun control?" but rather "Assuming everyone has a little bit of truth about mass shootings (it's about bullying AND about access to weapons AND mental illness AND secularism AND insufficient training and background checks AND even FBI dropping the ball), what can we all do? How can we carve out a solution taking all of these into account?" 

Truth is hard. Truth is uncomfortable, especially when an opposite political party has been the one saying it all along. But truth is the only thing that unites us. And it is through our faith in Jesus Christ that we can take all our bits and pieces of truth and start to reconcile what we have. We can work together with a perfect brightness of hope and a love of God and all men, and ultimately find truth.

Forbidden Fruit

Today I was thinking about bananas. Like, why are they the way they are? So great and so . . . not great. I think maybe there was a scene in the premortal existence like this:

Angel 1: *in test kitchen* Okay, we've almost got all the toddler-friendly snacks designed. I think we need just one more healthy snack that's not pretend healthy like veggie straws. Any ideas?

Angel 2: I've invented bananas.

Angel 1: Sounds intriguing. Tell me more.

Angel 2: So they're a fruit --

Angel 1: Excellent.

Angel 2: They're very sweet, and very nutritious.

Angel 1: Great!

Angel 2: You can buy them before they're ready, and then they will ripen. If you ripen them too much, you can just freeze them and use them in quick breads or smoothies. They are easy to transport -- you don't have to refrigerate them, and the fruit is protected by a skin that's very easy to peel. And there are no seeds to spit out.

Angel 1: You've improved a lot since you invented periods. What could be better for a toddler than a sweet, monochromatic fruit?

Angel 2: Well, I thought they still needed some other features, so I added a few.

Angel 1: Um.

Angel 2: See, we want to hone a toddler's eye for detail, and bananas give ample opportunities for that.

Angel 1: Don't we want them to have fewer opportunities for them to get tripped up by details? I would think hungry toddlers don't need anything to stand between them and filling their tummies.

Angel 2: But the brown spots are so aesthetically pleasing.

Angel 1: Are those brown spots made of chocolate?

Angel 2: Some parents might say they are in moments of desperation.

Angel 1: Come on, Lucifer, you're encouraging people to lie to their children?

Angel 2: Not all of them have brown spots.

Angel 1: Oh good.

Angel 2: But they all have black tips.

Angel 1: Seriously?

Angel 2: There are also strings.

Angel 1: Do they come off easily?

Angel 2: Of course! They're just there to enhance the experience. Can you imagine a toddler sitting there watching his parent gently pulling those strings off, grinning in anticipation at what is about to come?

Angel 1: It seems like a recipe for disaster. But it could be worse. You said it was easy to peel, right?

Angel 2: Generally yes. And best of all, when the peel is being pulled off, I've figured out a way to make the banana break. Kids are short, so I figured they'd like it when their food got shorter too.

Angel 1: It doesn't sound like you really want them to eat these bananas after all.

Angel 2: They're low calorie. Their parents can eat them too.

Angel 1: How do adults like them?

Angel 2: So far, test subjects have had mixed results. Most didn't describe eating it as a particularly pleasurable experience. Some described it as eating a soft brick. Others received bananas that reminded them of slimy mashed potatoes.

Angel 1: But at least you said they were sweet. That ought to count for something.

Angel 2: Sweet enough, sure, if they're ripe. Sweet but not tasty.  I've engineered it so that the tasty varieties will go practically extinct right about the time fruit snacks are invented.

Angel 1: So do you want people to like bananas or not? Are we sure we want to put this into production?

*VOICE FROM INTERCOM* Creation begins in 10 seconds. Please save and close all your drafts now.

Angel 2: Welp, I guess it's as good as it's going to get.

And that is the story of why lunch time was sad today.

Thanks to Leslie Moon, Ally Dunn, Daniel Larsen, and Kathryn Blair for their contributions to this post. And thanks to Bunmi Laditan for the idea of angels discussing ways to afflict and torment man.