We've made it through 2013! You've almost made it through 100 blog posts from me this year!
As my final post of the year, I considered making this a contemplative, soul-searching, and sweeping recap of the year. I thought about sharing what I have learned about myself, about people, about being a parent . . .
But then I thought this would be more fun. So here is a "moontage" of Joseph's best dancing each month.
January: No dancing yet, but he has got a sense of rhythm.
February: Still no dancing, but he could clap, call, and crawl.
March: This is where the dancing really started. Hooray for marches!
April: Joseph learns he can dance to most anything.
May: No music, but he sure knows how to move his mouth.
June: This was right before he started walking, but he had sweet moves even when stationary.
July: This isn't quite dancing, but his little march is pretty cute.
August: Here's where the dancing really picked up!
September: I played lots of classical music, mostly because of Joseph.
October: We listened to lots of kids' music on Pandora. I could bear it as long as there was dancing.
November: Christmas season began! Joseph got into the spirit early.
December: I couldn't pick just one grand finale for this month! Christmas music, kids' music, movie music . . . we've had a ball!
(you can definitely tell this video was taken on Christmas. haha.)
It's been a wonderful year full of funny-looking haircuts, no pants, and great dancing. Here's to more in 2014!
Yesterday morning, after opening presents, I started to panic. What time was it???? I checked the time -- 9:05. Sigh of relief. I started to read a book to help the time pass. Then I panicked again -- what time was it? 9:33??? I was late for my 9:30 meeting! I dashed to the den to start video chatting with Jennie. After a few tries back and forth to get me part of the video chat group, there she was, along with the rest of my family in various locations!
And I think the first thing I heard came from Kiana -- "What did kids in the Middle Ages get for Christmas?"
"Bubonic plague."
. . . Yup. That's my family.
The thing was, with the world being as connected as it is, there wasn't a whole lot to update on. We get recordings and emails from Jennie and pictures and even videos from people in her ward. We keep tabs on each other via blogs and Facebook. So in terms of small talk, we ran out of stuff to say rather quickly.
To fill the time, we decided to act like ourselves -- goofy and random. I suppose that's what people mean when they talk about giving the gift of themselves. Here were a few quotes and stories from the 40 minute meeting:
"Sometimes people try and guess what Sister Rueckert's and my first names are. I try and convince them it's Dorcas, but no one has believed me yet." -Jennie
"Let's sing a Christmas carol. Like Dragon Tales." -Kaylie (she then started singing her own words to the song, which ended with something like "Ord eats a lot and he complains."
"What did the acorn want to be when he grew up? Geometree!" -my dad (maybe? I think I missed what was going on right then, so I don't think I got the joke right.)
Let's see, what else . . . Kaylie tried to have a game of Ghost going on the side chat bar. I was the only one who played, and we ended after the word was "dagger."
And then the Google Effects started, courtesy of Kaylie. She put a birthday hat on her head, so we followed suit.
Historically, Joseph hasn't liked Google Effects, but he ended up really liking it, which was an improvement over his typically stoic face for video chatting. We would sway in front of and behind each other to get the masks and monocles to float back and forth to each other. I don't know what normal families do when they talk to their missionaries, but it probably doesn't involve cat masks or really bad jokes. Like I said, there wasn't much to talk about.
So it was no surprise when the time ran out that it really felt like it was time to end. As Jennie said, "I would like to talk longer, but the mission president just said 40 minutes, so--"
"You are good, you are obedient, and so we will hang up with you now," said my mom. And just like that, the video chat was done.
Time to talk about Joseph some more! I guess we can consider this a sort of an ~18-month update.
He has learned . . . 100 words? We've kind of stopped counting, so that number is maybe just the total number of words he has ever learned (including letters of the alphabet), not the ones he uses regularly. My favorite words of his are the ones that end in 's', like yes, Jesus, mess, bus, toast, and rice. He also has a few words that he tacks 's's onto because they belong in there somewhere, like pasta ("bob-us"), snow ("noce"), and small ("malls"). No two-word phrases yet, but I'm sure they're coming soon.
Unfortunately, you wouldn't know how verbose he can be if you happened to meet him at church or at a playgroup because he can be super super shy. I can sometimes just hold him through all Sacrament Meeting while he buries his face in my chest. Once he gets comfortable around people he is very giggly and happy, but until then he is a cuddly, shy boy.
This is his stranger face. Also his Nursery face, I think.
Overall, he is pretty mellow. I feel like I'm the least qualified person to give parenting advice because I don't have to do much parenting. He doesn't ransack things like he used to (except for my desk, but that's because that's new) or throw things in the trash or toilet like I feared. Nor does he usually throw tantrums when he doesn't get his way. We basically have fun together all day.
Except, that is, when I tried to feed him something besides his 8 acceptable foods. Although he occasionally eats vegetables and meat, he usually fills his small stomach with things that are white or sweet, such as carbs, dairy, and fruit. I try not to stress it so that he doesn't learn to resist eating adult food, but it's always a little disheartening. I care a little more about nutrition now that I have finally weaned him (only 5 months after expected . . . a little too early for both of us but my body needed a break). This hasn't entirely fixed his night wakings -- in fact, sometimes it makes it worse when it's clear all he wants is to nurse and so we spend 90 minutes trying to get around that -- but it has decreased them quite a bit. There's about a 40% chance I will wake up at 7 instead of several hours earlier. I will accept that gratefully.
One day he discovered mac 'n cheese and loved it, but he didn't eat it all so it made leftovers (gross). He still liked them so much that I found him like this.
They were so dry though that he didn't even get his hair messed up by doing this.
Although he is pretty happy, he still has that fiery streak in him that likes to say "No" to everything. There have been several times where I find him staring at himself in the mirror, wagging his finger or yelling "No! No! NO!!!" and then walking away completely happy after his pep talk. It's pretty hilarious.
Sometimes though that pep talk is instead him nodding and saying "yeah, yeah, yeah." Funny boy.
Anyway, this is my favorite age yet. I always say that, but it's definitely true these days. I absolutely love my Joseph boy!
Goodness, it's been forever since you've seen pictures of Joseph. (Deep down, I know that's the best part of my blog, so sorry for all the reminiscing and philosophizing in between.) He's grown up quite a bit since you last saw him, and he's actually started thinking about future careers. Like his mom, he finds it difficult to decide on just one, so here's a smattering he's considered.
Yoga instructor
Scout master
Demolition crew man
Stuntman/unicorn (he decided to launch himself off the couch and land on the hardwood. This picture is a month old so it's finally faded but there is a scar.)
Mountain climber
Fireman
Birdwatcher
Philosopher
Cab driver
Iditarod racer
Pie maker (actually that's mine. Just wanted to show my first apple pie ever.)
Food tester
Food destroyer. Luckily we put enough frosting on Kevin's birthday cake to hide the damage.
Playground designer
Music critic
Electrician. He moved the chair over by himself and started flipping the lights.
Based on my last post, it probably sounds like I wanted to do everything when I grew up.
I didn't.
There were some careers that I always knew were out of my reach. Either that, or I figured it out in time.
1. Athlete. You guys, I have never been on an organized sports team. Never! Not even a little soccer team in kindergarten. Soccer was a boy game, and boys were gross, so I refused. Never even did cross country in high school. I enjoyed running and aerobics well enough, but I have no hand-eye coordination. (The strongest memory I have of PE in junior high is learning how to hit a birdie with a badminton racket. It took several class periods for me to figure it out, and my friend Meagan was by my side basically the whole time coaching me.) This one has never ever ever been on the radar.
2. Hairdresser. If my hair ever looks good it is an accident. It is surprisingly thick, so I had a lot of trouble finding the time to put it up or curl it. Thus, I never bothered to really learn how to do it. Luckily, that is what sisters are for.
3. Geologist. I think I liked the first two times I learned about different kinds of rocks. But then one time I was learning about rocks and in addition to the limestone and marble and whatnot, there was a rock called "gneiss." And something about that name turned me away from rocks and hot lava and tectonic plates forever. When I went on a biology field trip, it was actually a real struggle for me to enjoy the educational aspect because they wanted us to learn about all the different layers of the cliffs in Southern Utah. Even though Mr. Lit and Mr. McMillan were fabulous teachers, I just couldn't get into it. So to keep myself engaged and enthralled I wrote dopey poetry about the beauty surrounding us and the lonely clouds in the sky and the perils the cryptobionic soil faced in the margins of my workbook. Which was fine until we had to turn our workbooks in. Man, I'm still blushing about that.
4. On a similar note, I never wanted to be a paleontologist. I didn't like the music or plot from A Land Before Time and that just sort of made me not like dinosaurs in general. Plus, second graders got to go to some dinosaur place in Ogden and when I didn't go to second grade some people rubbed it in so I decided I never liked them anyway. Sat out in the car when my parents wanted us to go see the Dinosaur Park in Vernal. Refused to see Dinosaur in 2000 with my cousins. Avoided the dinosaur rooms as much as possible at the Smithsonian even just last March. Someday I will accept that I have a son and he might like dinosaurs, but I'm trying to delay it as long as possible.
5. For a short time, I think I wanted to be a politician, but when I couldn't keep my campaign promises as 1st grade class president I decided it wasn't for me. Well, I suppose I tried -- I promised everyone Tootsie Rolls and a picture I would draw for them. I got elected, and people made a list of the pictures they wanted me to draw. One of them was a yin-yang. I had no idea how to draw it, so I drew the peace sign and thought that was close enough. When I gave the index card with the "yin yang" on it to my classmate, his face fell and I knew I had messed up. Ever since then, I have been cautious in making promises or drawing pictures for money.
6. Oh, and I guess I never seriously considered being an artist either. And though I had my own craft company for a short while (Kyra Stuff, it was called, and I think I primarily made desktop backgrounds), my love of crafts ended in Young Women's once I realized I wasn't as neat as everyone else.
Although there are many other things I never considered, I either forgot them or am too embarrassed to admit them (dancer, I'm looking at you). (Basically, I wanted this list a lot shorter than my other list.)
Luckily, there are people who enjoy all of these things. So the world keeps on running the way it's supposed to.
This post is dedicated to Kaylie, who told me I should publish it even though it's long, and who wanted to be a mailmom when she grew up. Also dedicated to all the people who share a dozen or so things about themselves on Facebook the past few weeks. Here's my response.
As a kid, I don't think I ever really knew what I wanted to be when I grew up, but there were plenty of things that I wanted to be right then. This led to many short but illustrious careers. Here are the ones that I remember:
-I think the first thing I wanted to be was a mom. I can't remember for sure, but it makes sense. I mean, that's who I hung out with all the time. I liked the idea of a job where you drove to the bank and got Smarties for free. In practicing being a mom, I gave birth to lots of dolls that were hiding under my shirt.
-The next job I considered was an engineer. I didn't quite know what it was, but I knew there were two kinds -- the kind that drove trains and the kind that my dad was. And I think I wanted to be the kind my dad was. (There were also two kind of doctors -- the kind that helped sick people and the kind my dad was that taught classes. So confusing.) One of the first dolls I got I named Engineer ("Is that a Spanish name?" my friends would ask when I told them about her). I don't remember playing with her ever, but I do remember she was kind of ugly.
-Along the same lines, I think I wanted to be an inventor. When I was three or four, my dad's comb broke. I knew that it was made of plastic, so I figured I could make one of my own. I traced one of my mom's combs (except she didn't let me trace inside the teeth because she thought they would break, so it was just mildly bumpy) on some paper and then cut it out. I then put a plastic bag over it because plastic was plastic so naturally now my dad had a plastic comb again. When I realized that all plastic was not the same and my invention had failed, my career took a long hiatus.
-The next thing I wanted to be was a composer. After wearing my parents' ears out with my soulful tunes "Fall in love of everything and this is what it is!" and "What's your favorite color?", I figured my future career had a pretty strong start. Unfortunately, after a few submissions to Reflections contests, it never picked up momentum. (Truth is, I think I might be too happy now to write real music. That's okay with me.)
-At some point, I realized that out of the standard job answers of fireman, policeman, or doctor, being a doctor could be pretty cool. After all, you had to be really smart to be a doctor. Although I enjoyed chemistry and biology quite a bit, I never could get into anatomy or physiology, so this plan was nixed by high school. (Even now, the only bone I really remember is "femur." Oh wait, isn't tibia a bone? Have to start using that one now.)
-Somewhere in there, I am sure I wanted to be a teacher. I never managed to teach my younger siblings as much as Leslie taught me with the old chalkboard downstairs, but oh, did I have lesson plans. And even the start of a math book.
-When I was 8 or 9, I really wanted to be an architect because I loved to draw houses and house plans so much. I think this was the first career in a while that my dad really approved of, and he got excited. He ran to DI and got me all this drafting equipment and special rulers and whatnot. Right when I was about to start figuring out how to use all that junk, I asked my dad what it took to become an architect. He mentioned geometry. Even back then I knew instinctively that I hated geometry, and I ditched my architect plans almost immediately. (And I never stopped hating geometry. This makes the two years I spent on a 40 page paper on the Steiner problem on the regular tetrahedron as well as all the radar research and HFSS programming for senior project especially ironic.)
-Soon afterwards, I started to write lots of stories and poems. And I mean a lot. Very few of them were ever finished. And maybe that was a good thing. (I notice no one was really clamoring for the remaining 11 chapters.) I realized when I was about 14 that to actually become a good writer (prose, plot, etc) would take a kind of dedication and immunity to criticism that I just couldn't handle, so I gave it up.
-After that, I think the idea of my ideal career changed depending on what my favorite class was. Sometimes I really liked history. Sometimes I really liked math. Sometimes I still really liked the idea of knowing every language in the world. When I was looking at major maps the summer before college, I felt paralyzed by all the exciting options, and I'd eliminate options based on required classes that I thought I might hate. Based solely on the name, I seriously considered majoring in Food Science and signed up for a Thursday seminar at 11.
When I went to the class the first time, the professor enthusiastically showed us a power point of all the jobs Food Scientists had. It seemed like a lot of it had to do with canned foods not having botulism. All my dreams of learning how to make perfect candies and crispy, chewy breads vaporized in that instant, and I knew I would never major in food science. (Never mind that I think food science majors really did learn that stuff too. Just the cans were enough to deter me.) I signed up for the Electrical Engineering seminar at the same time, and I never looked back.
And so, I majored in electrical engineering. And math, because I couldn't stop taking math classes. And then I had a baby and now only use my degrees about once every six months. On the other hand, I find myself accompanying or doing musical numbers several times a year, except during November and December when it's about 43 times a week. And I also keep a blog. And I suppose I'm taking a crash course in early childhood education. So I guess my past career dreams are still alive, and always will be.
I recently came to a somewhat depressing realization:
I don't thrive in all-female group settings. In fact, I sometimes kind of hate them.
But rather than being depressing, I have found it quite liberating. Here's why.
I have actually suspected that I struggle with female interactions my whole life, or at least since fourth grade. Back then I could blame it on us all being immature kids. Then during Young Women's, it was because we were all immature teenagers. In college, it was because I didn't have classes with many girls. Last year, it was because I had just moved with a baby.
But this year, I felt like my excuses had run out. I finally had to face up to the fact that it's not my favorite. That I don't like talking about feelings or kid problems or basic small talk. That I go home realizing that I stuck my foot in my mouth at least once. That, contrary to this study, I actually participate much, much more when there are men present. (I am still inclined to believe that study though for most women, if only because my mom was the lead researcher's babysitter back in the day so he must know what he's talking about. :D)
For a few days, this realization was stifling and demoralizing. I dreaded interacting with people because I realized now that I would just hate it and say the wrong things. I knew there would be moments where everyone was talking to each other except me, and I'd somehow have to insert myself into a conversation. (Incidentally, shortly after this realization, I heard things wrong once when I joined a conversation and even asked the horrible "wait, are you pregnant?" question that every person in the world knows not to ask, further convincing me of my awkwardness.) I decided that my life would be easier if I just avoided the group settings as much as possible.
Except, that wasn't a satisfying idea. Over the next few days, I would suddenly find myself singing "There are chances for good all around just now," or "Perhaps today there are loving words which Jesus would have me speak" (Hymns 223 and 270), and I knew that being shy or reclusive would not solve anything, particularly the guilt I felt when I knew I could be a better friend.
In an instant, I realized I was looking at this all wrong. I had finally owned up to the fact that I wasn't at my best in group settings . . . which means I no longer had any expectation to pretend that I was! I could now go to events, no longer fearing that people thought I was weird but instead embracing my weirdness! I could enjoy being the one to ask the unusual questions or sit in silence listening. For example, yesterday I went to a playgroup and met a woman who teaches Hebrew. So I asked her every question I ever had it about it. It was great! She might have left thinking I was eccentric, and that's okay! I'd rather be eccentric than unhappy. I don't plan on completely discarding all social norms or consciously trying to put my foot in my mouth, but I now feel like I can relax and enjoy group settings. (Which is good, because I'm probably going to have a lot of them for the rest of my life.)
Come to think of it, there are lots of other disappointing realizations about myself that I've had to make. I will never be good at sports. I doubt I will ever be good at waking up early. I will never have the voice I dream of. I will never even be as good a pianist as I would like (though I still am pretty good). With each of these, once I realized that I didn't have to be the best, I was able to enjoy myself a lot more and ultimately provide a lot more service than if perfectionism got in the way.
So, for all you introverts or shy extroverts or ambiverts or whateverts . . . stop worrying! Don't worry about if you are losing energy by talking to people, especially loud ones. Don't count the minutes til you are out of the social situation. Just relax, enjoy interacting with God's children, and be as good a disciple of Christ as you can be to those around you.
But wait, you say, didn't I just see a petition like that? A petition, a petition, we have had enough petitions and we need no more.
Or so you think. You see, the last petition on pornography didn't get enough signatures. And, personally, I feel like it's still important to keep trying to bring attention to this important issue. If you feel like we get inundated with way too many articles and petitions about pornography all the time, you're right. And we will until we do something about it. This petition asks for something relatively simple, but it could have important implications.
So go ahead! Sign it! The government probably already knows your address so making an account for whitehouse.gov isn't going to destroy any more privacy. If you're turned off by the idea of people recognizing you by your initials and city, rest assured that the more signatures that this gets, the less likely it is that people will scroll down and recognize you.
Anyway, it's so easy! And so simple! And you will have made just as big an impact in the world as this guy:
I even considered doing a giveaway with this, but I don't think that's particularly ethical. So we can just do a pretend one. You get one point if you sign it yourself, two points if you share it on your Facebook wall, and ten points if you share it with people that will publicize it better than me (like some big family-oriented institution). If you comment with how many points you earned, your name will be entered into an imaginary raffle, and you will have the chance to earn a metaphorical iPad!
You know what this blog needs more of? Kevin! I share all these stories about my family and about Joseph, and yet I rarely talk about how awesome he is.
But that will change today. It's time to do the birthday spotlight!!!! (And then I will do short posts again. I promise.)
So, without further ado, here are 27 reasons why Kevin is great.
1. He has been the one to get up with Joseph at least 80% of the time. I figured I ought to start off with something impressive, and that is no small feat, especially when Joseph spends three solid months waking up nearly every night screaming in pain due to molars coming in. (It's not that we're horribly opposed to crying it out, especially at this age. But if he hurts, we see no reason to keep him suffering. At least when he's not teething he usually knows how to sleep til 7:30.) I've always felt a little sheepish that he's done it so much and I've done it so little, but I suppose me getting almost enough sleep is probably worth it to him.
2. He graciously admires my work every time I clean something and ask for his praise. Even if it's something that is the bare minimum of what I should be doing.
3. He can fill in for me at church on the piano at the drop of a hat.
4. He is really good at cooking meat.
5. And for that matter, the first time he baked bread it was as good as any I've ever made.
6. He slices the tomatoes thinner for me on the rare occasion we have tomatoes.
7. He teaches Joseph lots of great things, like about electricity or how to snore.
8. He is so smart. I could go on and on and on about how brilliant he is, but I will refrain because it would take too long. Just know that he was once referred to in the Engineering Advisement Center as "a little smartypants."
9. He is only annoyed for like 10 minutes after BYU loses, and then he gets on with life. Sometimes it takes me a little longer.
10. He likes to dance and learn new steps. Which I like too.
11. We can sit in silence together and still be happy. The other Saturday, we drove to the temple. For most of the ride, we just sat next to each other in silence. And that was okay. He didn't expect me to talk, and I didn't expect him to talk. Finding someone to enjoy silence with is a real treat.
12. Conversely, I can talk to him about anything, and he always responds well. Listens fully to my side of the argument, doesn't judge, etc. When I complain about someone or something, he listens and then gently offers explanations for their behavior without rebuking me. It is hard to stay angry at anyone when you can get through frustrations with them with the help of your husband.
13. He rocks at home teaching.
14. He laughs at my jokes.
15. He has the best laugh ever -- a rumbly, happy, one.
16. He makes me laugh.
17. Until I finished school a month before Joseph was born, he basically did all the laundry. And he was in school and busy too. I do not know how I scored that one.
18. Even now, with his busy separate schedule, he is still super super helpful around the house and even knows where lots of things belong.
19. He is ridiculously good looking. And since his family says he looked like Joseph as a baby, he presumably always has been good looking.
20. He is good at asking people in the store for help. This probably makes him look less stupid than I do since I just hunt for minutes on end looking lost and confused. Then again, often the item he's asking for is less than two feet away, so it's probably a toss-up as to who looks more stupid.
21. He doesn't spell words wrong.
22. He is really good at explaining things, especially mathematical concepts.
23. He really knows how to play with a toddler, from knocking down towers to having pillows eating teddy bears and then belching them out. (This is good, because my idea of playing is teaching Joseph the actions to "eensy weensy spider," and that's not nearly as fun.)
24. When he was a kid, he was obsessed with Davy Crockett, and that is just adorable. And it was so mean of Craig to tell him that he died at the Alamo.
25. He eats his vegetables, except sweet potatoes.
26. He reads really fast, so I can always count on getting him back soon after we check out a Brandon Sanderson book.
27. He is the cutest daddy ever. Evidence:
those are Kevin's legs, so it's a picture of the two of them
Hope you're okay with all these sleeping pictures, Kevin. They're just too cute.
again, those are Kevin's legs
I am so grateful that he decided to take a huge risk and marry me nearly 4 years ago. I still don't know how I got so lucky. I love being married to someone who loves Heavenly Father, me, his family, and the church so much. And someone who likes math almost as much as I do.
