Replacement Fun in New Haven

Before we moved to Connecticut, people encouraged us to visit as many places as we could in the short time we were there.

And, you know, we did pretty well. We hit all of New England and all of the mid-Atlantic except Delaware (sorry Delaware . . . we sure thought about you a lot!). We went to national parks, state parks, beaches, plays, concerts, and playgrounds aplenty.

But we didn't hit everything we had hoped to while we were there. So in true Moon fashion, we found replacement fun closer to home that (hopefully) gave us a similar experience with less work.

For example:

The Mansions of Newport: To be totally honest, I've been a bit opulence-d out ever since we went to Versailles in 2013. But I still heard really great things about the mansions in Newport, Rhode Island, especially the Breakers, so it was always on our to-do list, especially during Christmastime. But the weeks surrounding Christmas were consistently 0 degrees and we didn't want to go outside if we didn't have to, and then other things came up. Plus it was far.

Replacement: In June we drove about an hour over to Gillette Castle. It was a quirky building built by a quirky man who loved cats, trains, and Sherlock Holmes. It might not have been as resplendent as the mansions in Newport, but he definitely got lots of points for creativity when it came to doors.

Other replacement: We looked at Google Images to see pretty pictures of mansions. (And we've also spent a lot of time looking at McMansions to know what not to do in a house, haha.)

Eric Carle Museum/Dr. Seuss Museum: We have a lot of Eric Carle books, and many of them mention the Eric Carle Museum in Amherst, Massachusetts. It was about 1 hour 45 minutes from New Haven, so I thought it would be doable sometime. I was mostly interested in the gallery of picture book art, but other parts like the craft room sounded good too. While we were at it, I thought we might be able to swing by the Norman Rockwell museum, the Dr. Seuss sculpture garden, and the newly-opened Dr. Seuss museum.

However, it kept getting pushed back and pushed back. It eventually seemed like a lot of work to drive all the way up there, so we opted for different outings.

Replacement: We read picture books and admired the art in them. (Looking now at the pictures of the museums, I sort of regret not going, and I think the kids would have enjoyed the exhibits well enough, but oh well. Maybe someone else we know can go and live it vicariously for us.)

White Mountain National Forest: We would have to loved to spend some time in the beautiful mountains of New Hampshire, but then we realized that

Replacement: We were moving to Utah, which also has beautiful mountains.

Albany Tulip Festival: I marked this on my calendar months in advance (also figuring we could see some mansions in the area while were there), but when the time came I had just come back from my trip to Michigan and I was exhausted. So we stayed home and went to carnivals in the rain but at least we weren't in tulip festivals in the rain.

Replacement: We went to the tulip festival at Thanksgiving Point last year. And I'll hold onto my dreams of going to a tulip festival in the Pacific Northwest.

Professional sports:  I'm sure there were plenty of opportunities to go to baseball games, basketball games, hockey games, and football games in the area.

Replacement: I took Joseph to soccer and spent the whole time trying to keep Matthew from joining in and chatting with friends.

We also visited this track sometimes. 

Bronx Zoo -- We knew our kids would love this incredible zoo. We knew we wouldn't love the price.

Replacement: Last year we got library passes to the Bridgeport Zoo one time so we paid $15 to get in, which seemed about right for the variety of animals there. Joseph then went there this year on a field trip, and Matthew was eager to go to a zoo too.

So we tried to count a Saturday visit to the Ansonia Nature Center as a zoo. I think he could tell the difference but he liked it enough.

Splash pad: We tried several times to go to splash pads that promised they were open after Memorial Day. Each time ended in bitter, sweaty failure.

Replacement: Rain worked okay.

Children's Museums: After we got a museum pass from the Providence Children's Museum, we hoped to use it at several museums in the area. However, we didn't realize that a) Providence is more north than east on I-95 so that it's less than 90 miles from most of Connecticut and b) my address on my driver's license wasn't 90 miles from those museums either. So after going to Stepping Stones I decided I was done with museums in the area. (For some reason I'm just not a children's museum person that much . . . you have to drive somewhere, park somewhere, meet up with friends, abandon friends while you chase your respective children, share toys with unfamiliar children, drive home, and then later catch whatever cold was left by those children.)

Replacement: People were kind enough to watch my kids at their homes during the last few marathon days of packing, and my kids got to play with their toys. Besides the water exhibits and interactive game projector, that's all they really ever want from children's museums.

(Oh, and since being in Utah we used the museum pass at Thanksgiving Point. I still had to drive somewhere, park somewhere, meet up with friends, abandon friends while I chased my children, share toys with unfamiliar, children, and drive home, but at least it was free!)

Statue of Liberty: This is one of the most iconic sites in New York City, and it definitely would have been cool to visit it. But based on past experience it would have also involved a lot of waiting in lines.

Replacement: We waited in lines at the airport when we moved.

(okay, that one is really lame. Someday we'll go when the kids are older!)

Grove Street Cemetery: I'd seen this one recommended a few times because it is old and has famous names in it. It was close to our church so I thought we could stop by sometime on a Sunday.

Replacement: I just looked up the cemetery on Wikipedia for my cemetery blog post the other day, and I guess that will have to count.

Brooklyn Botanical gardens: We had a few friends go down to visit the stunning gardens in Brooklyn, and if the traffic hadn't scared me I would have gladly joined them. (I think it was okay to be scared of a 4 hour drive home, to be honest.)

Replacement: I was sure to visit the Pardee Rose Garden at the back of East Rock Park in June. We also liked trips to Edgerton Park and walks through various colleges at Yale.

Good old Edgerton

How God does June in Connecticut.

Camping: You know us. We have never done a proper camping trip in all of our years of marriage, and as tempting as it sounded to camp at Hammonassett Beach (ticks don't live on the sand so much), we just never did.

Replacement: We had s'mores behind the Divinity School right before loading all of our boxes and bedding into a trailer so that the next few days felt like camping.

Looking back, one of the great things about Connecticut was just how much there was to do there. I felt like I had to drive 20 minutes to get anywhere I wanted, but then within a 40-45 minute radius there were all kinds of attractions, both rural and urban.

Logan is different. It's a half hour away from the freeway and almost another hour past that to Salt Lake City. Much of what I came to love in Connecticut just isn't here.

But I'm not worried one bit. We're always good at finding replacement fun.

Burton Tower

After I visited Harkness Tower last year, I decided to see if it was as easy to get a tour of the bell towers at the University of Michigan as it was at Yale.

It was.

"All those years I lived there, and I never went!" I bemoaned to Kevin. So, when I planned a trip back to Michigan, I decided to give it a try. In a moment of boldness, I emailed a carillon professor to ask if I could tour the bell tower while I was in town even though classes were no longer in session. While I was on the airplane, she got back to me, telling me that we couldn't go to the Lurie Tower on North Campus (which I was more familiar with) but that I could knock on her door at 4:45 and she would show me around the other carillon on Burton Tower.

I hadn't told her I had a baby with me and wasn't sure how much favor I had curried to start with, so I left Jacob with my friend Camille and headed up the elevator by myself.

Dr. Ng was warm and enthusiastic as she invited me into her office. At 4:45 she hurried us into a room where we could see the action of the bells chiming. It was like a music box, she explained. A heavy, gigantic music box with grooves to play the right notes at each 15 minute increment.

It's kind of hard to see, but right behind that big wheel at the front there are four smaller wheels with grooves in them to indicate the order in which to play the four chimes (it's different for each 15 minute increment)

This is the system for the big bell that plays on the hour. The pulley is on the left.

We saw a practice carillon, then the real one.

The Charles Baird Carillon.

Although I had been more familiar with Lurie Tower, it was great to visit Burton Tower and learn about the history of its carillon. Dr. Ng and I climbed under a bell that she struck, and I walked around, jumped up, crouched down, stood in the center to hear the overtones, echoes, and even silence.

After we walked back inside to the carillon, Dr Ng. played a lovely, haunting piece by a BYU grad, Margot Murdoch, entitled Tea with Hildegarde. After her performance she invited me to play something. I took a deep breath. Six weeks of proper lessons nine years ago hadn't left me with any technique, and I felt sheepish pounding something out after something so lovely. I stared at the keys, memorizing where my fists would go since the keyboard was a major third off of what I was used to. Then I was ready.

"Come, come ye saints, no toil nor labor fear, but with joy, wend your way," the carillon played. And that was it.

"I . . . that was what was played on the BYU bell tower on the hour instead of Westminster Quarters," I said. Previously, it had seemed so epic to play "Come, Come Ye Saints" on my 4th bell tower (after KU, BYU, and Yale). But now it seemed so . . . inadequate. I racked my brain to see if there was anything else I dared play, and I couldn't think of anything.

"How nice to have representation of BYU here on Michigan campus!" she said tactfully, even though BYU had been adequately represented by her performance of Margot Murdoch's composition right before that. Hopefully there were some Mormons in earshot who could appreciate Come, Come Ye Saints that day.

After signing the guest book, we chatted a bit about favorite carillons in the US and in Europe, and then I headed back down to see Camille and our kids.

There's always a bit of a thrill in being able to broadcast yourself to a wide audience. I've felt it many times as I approach a microphone. I've felt it when I've put on a Facebook Live video. But I think the best, most beautiful way to share your voice widely just might be a carillon.

Ask and ye shall receive

"I can't believe he slept through that landing," other passengers remarked as we all tried to recover from the nausea induced by a windy, bumpy descent.

I smiled at my sleeping baby. There is nothing quite like the phrase "As we begin our final descent" to make the squirmiest baby suddenly relax and take the long-sought nap that has eluded him for an entire plane flight. Luckily, it had been a short flight, and I was sitting next to a kind woman from Canton, Michigan who knew the same parks and cider mills I did. Jacob was equal parts smiley and squirmy until he was sleepy.

As I set Jacob down to take a picture of him and tug my oversized backpack out from under my seat, his eyes flickered and he was awake again. No matter. He would sleep again in the car. Once out of the plane, I retrieved the umbrella stroller, put Jacob in, and walked into the Detroit airport. I was back.

***

My reason for visiting Ann Arbor was simple enough -- I wanted to see the people there. Although several of our friends had already moved, there were still several I wanted to catch before they scattered themselves across the country and world. So when I found cheap airplane tickets I began planning my trip. I decided to only take Jacob -- not only was he free to take, but he also didn't throw tantrums. I was looking forward to the break.

The airport was just how I remembered it -- the sky train, the restaurants, the escalators. The only luggage I had checked was Jacob's car seat, and then I waited outside for my friend Camille to pick me up. As we drove back to Ann Arbor, she and I caught up and talked about upcoming changes in our lives. When we were close to Northwood, I asked if I could stop by Kroger to get something healthy to eat. Travel food is a blur of granola bars and airplane cookies that coat your teeth with sour sweetness, and I was desperate for something else. Once in the checkout line, I recognized the checker. He had always given Joseph lots of Kroger stickers and made faces at Matthew. He looked at me quizzically once or twice, and I wasn't quite brave enough to exclaim, "I'm back in town, and the first place I wanted to stop was Kroger!" I settled for normal politeness, no, I did not have a Kroger card, yes, thanks you have a good day too.

And then we were back in Northwood. It had the same foresty smell as before, same rustic look. I ate my small veggie tray and then did what I had been an expert at on lazy weekday mornings and calm Sunday afternoons. I pulled out a stroller and began to explore.

It felt instantly natural to be walking there, maneuvering the stroller past the sand-covered sidewalks and Cozy Coupe graveyards. On that first walk, I saw just a few friends, but each subsequent time I went around the circle over the weekend (or later, around the hall at church) I saw more familiar faces. Pokemon Go had come out during my last summer in Ann Arbor, and in some ways my trip felt like a version of that game. Even if I could only chat for a minute with someone, I wanted to catch them all.

***

I tried to make the trip as pleasant as possible for myself. "This is a vacation," I reminded myself. "Do what you want." Besides walking around and around Northwood, I wanted just a few things. I wanted to go to a stake service activity and see as many stake people as possible.

Hey, someone's got to do it!

I wanted to take Jacob to the Wave Field and watch him crawl around. I wanted to play the piano for people who had encouraged me to keep on composing. I wanted to eat chips in the Jacksons' house. I wanted to go to the Quinns' to learn about Moldova and liberal democracy. None of these were exciting plans, but they made me genuinely happy.

In some ways, it was a good lesson in just learning to ask for things. Under normal circumstances, I try to pay people back when they do favors for me. They watch my kids one time, so I offer to watch them another time. I drive sometimes, and sometimes someone else drives. But on this trip, there was no "other time" for me to repay people. Regardless, I still needed the rides, still needed a bed, still needed the company, even needed the babysitting a little bit. So, I surrounded my requests with effusive gratitude and decoupling phrases ("It's okay if you can't! It's not super important!!!"), but at the end of the day all I could do was ask, not offer. I threw myself at the mercy of the ward, and I discovered that they were ready to catch me.

Do you want a place to stay? Just ask.
Do you want a ride to and from the airport? Just ask.
Do you want to tour a carillon? Just ask.

More on this later!

Do you want to stop by your Jordanian friend's house to pick up tea crackers for Joseph? Just ask.

My friend also gave me a lot of sage, but I felt like a TSA agent might think it was something more problematic if they happened to search my bags, so I left it with friends in Michigan.

Do you want a key to the church to practice for your recital? Just ask.
Do you want to know how a friend is doing? Just ask.
Do you want to see your friends' new house? Just ask.
Do you want a ride to a party? Just ask.
Do you want to go to a baby shower? Just ask.
Do you want a special Zumba class put on for you? Just ask.

The three days passed quickly -- a blur of walks around the neighborhood, laughing til I cried when my friends described the loopy conversations that came post sedation, opening up about the difficulties and blessings of living in New Haven, and catching up with so many kind, good friends I've made over the years. It was all I could have asked for.

***

Before I knew it, it was Monday afternoon. I had been staying with my friend Nycole and her family, and in addition to housing me and feeding me, she made sure I was not without sustenance for the plane flight home. "You'll want these," she said as she dumped Cadbury eggs into a Ziploc for me. I did want them.

How he entertained himself in the airport.

How can a trip go wrong when you have Cadbury eggs? It can't. I had a lovely drive back to the airport with my friend Sharon. I got to go in the TSA Pre-Check line. I sat next to a lovely woman who knew as much English as I do Spanish but nonetheless bonded with me using one of the 20 words I remember from Duolingo. "Bonito, bonito, bonito," she gushed as Jacob giggled for her. By the time I found my car in economy parking, my Cadbury eggs were gone, but still my luck lasted and I had a smooth drive home.

"Mommy!" Joseph and Matthew cried with excitement as I approached the house. I wheeled the umbrella stroller in, took Jacob out, and walked into the house. After three refreshing, quiet days, I was back.

Acadia Day 3

The next morning we went back to the pool for a bit and then headed back to the park. Kevin had noticed that Cadillac Mountain looked like a fun place to climb around so we headed back there.

I feel like we're both just twisted funny. But the view is great!

My mountain goat.

In contrast to the chilly weather the night before, it was a sunny morning and we actually got hot and thirsty climbing around. It was still fun though.

I was so excited for a family picture here, but it didn't turn out how I hoped because of the lighting.

Same with this lighting.

We got back in the car and started driving down the mountain, and when we saw a good scenic spot we hopped out to take more pictures.

Next, we decided to drive through Bar Harbor a bit. We didn't stop in any stores or even get the famous ice cream, but we really loved the Bar Harbor Shoreline Trail. Matthew napped in the stroller and I had Jacob in the carrier while Kevin and Joseph clambered around on the rocks for a while.

We ate some lunch at a picnic spot on Thompson Island where the information center is, and then we headed home! We stopped at our friends' house again to return a baby carrier and then got home late.

Overall, I was happy with the places we visited. There were a few other mountains that would have been fun to hike, a few other lakes and forests that would have been nice to see, and so much more we could have done with the ocean, but it was a good trip. Sometimes I go on trips and feel glad later that I went, but while I'm there I'm not happy because I'm traveling and it's stressful. On this trip, I felt like that a little the second day when it was overcast and we didn't find the climbing rocks I wanted, but for the rest of the time we were happy. I would love to go back someday!

What happens to me when I cross the Piscataqua and plunge rapidly into Maine at a cost of seventy-five cents in tolls? I cannot describe it. I do not ordinarily spy a partridge in a pear tree, or three French hens, but I do have the sensation of having received a gift from a true love. - E. B. White