There have been a few times the past few weeks where I've thought, "If someone happened to see me right now, it would look as crazy as my frozen face on video chat!" A lot of that is my own fault -- I think of good ideas, but the execution ends up less sleek than I expect, so in order to fix the errors I have to do things a little out of the ordinary. This has been especially true with Kevin gone so much this month with conferences in Illinois and Israel.
In the off chance you've seen me doing a few funny things lately, here are a few of the background situations.
The scene: Walking around outside with a vacuum.
The sitch: I wanted to see if it could reach the van now that we have decent extension cords. And it could! So I finally got to vacuum my car at home after years of having to go elsewhere.
The scene: Climbing on the edge of a recycling dumpster at the library to reach in better.
The sitch: I threw a dirty diaper in the recycling instead of the trash. I couldn't let it stay there in good conscience.
The scene: Grabbing a chair from the row in front of me at church and adding it to our row, which blocked the aisle space.
The sitch: Oh, Sunday mornings are just hard. Kevin often has meetings in the mornings so I'm used to getting kids ready by myself, but he usually comes back to help us get to church. But since he was in Israel I had to do it all and we were late. I wanted to sit by friends who would help watch the boys while I nursed, but I couldn't see any open spots where I'd been expecting them. There were two chairs left in one spot, so I squished us into those two chairs. I regretted that as Matthew screamed through the Sacrament prayer about not sitting where he wanted. During the first talk, I decided that 3 people needed 3 chairs, so I pulled a chair from another row onto our row, not expecting anyone to need to get past. Turns out I was wrong. So I pretended that Jacob was hungry, put the chair back, got snacks for the boys, and headed to the mother's room.
The scene: Jacob and I are covered in spit up in the mother's room.
The sitch: Yeah, he wasn't really hungry. It was a funny enough image that I almost took a picture of it, but when I got my phone out another mom walked in, and I felt self-conscious about taking a picture instead of cleaning it up.
The scene: Dentist appointment in the chapel.
The sitch: Matthew had an eruption cyst ever since Labor Day or earlier, and we decided to take the resident pediatric dentistry resident up on his wife's offer during her Sacrament Meeting talk and have him check it out a couple times. So one week Kevin took over the job of trying to get Matthew to open his mouth in the chapel, and the next week I did it. The cyst is finally gone now, so can the molar just break through? Please? Please? And the other three while we're at it? Please?
The scene: Walking to the church dumpster barefoot. (So many dumpster adventures! Or more accurately, so many diaper adventures!)
The sitch: Jacob had a dirty diaper at church later that day. I wanted to take notes during the Primary Program practice so I didn't want to miss any of it. When it was winding down, I hurried out to the hallway to change him (the bathroom usually smells bad and I didn't want to add that kind of negativity to my life) and then ran back into the Primary room because there was a door that leads right to the dumpster. Problem is, it locks behind you. I was in a hurry, so I just stuck my shoe in the door to prop it open. Then I couldn't walk with one shoe on and one shoe off, so the other shoe had to go off too. My feet might have gotten a little dirty, but at least the whole thing was quick.
The sitch: I was taking a shower and Matthew wanted to help me out by dumping bath toys in while I stood there. Then he found a cup and tried to get as many droplets in as he could while standing next to the shower. And I guess the sock needed to be in there too.
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| And toothpaste. Another thing to put out of reach, I guess. |
The scene: My son is yelling, "I don't have any shoes! I need shoes!" as I am putting him in the double stroller.
The sitch: When you spill milk right before it's time to walk to school, you lose the privilege of wearing shoes because Mom has to clean the mess instead of put on your shoes. At least, that's the excuse I gave for why I put Matthew in the stroller without shoes one day when we ran Joseph to his friend's house who walked him the rest of the way to school. It wasn't warm outside, but he stayed in the stroller the whole time so I didn't really think he needed shoes for a jaunt across the street and back. But of course every other parent with elementary-age kids was out that time, so it was a great time to let my son's feet freeze while he announced it to the world. (Yesterday he didn't get to wear shoes to church either because he kept taking them off. I brought them in my purse and eventually he decided to wear them.)
The scene: Carrying Jacob in the baby carrier on my right hip and holding Matthew on my left hip with a purse dangling somewhere there.
The sitch: It really is easier than holding Matthew's hand. I call this my "Mom Strong" look. (I think that when a kid can say "carry me" instead of "carry you" they are clearly too old to be carried. Matthew's not there yet.)
The scene: Reclining the couch (nicknamed "The Room of Requirement") as far as it can go and diving behind it.
The sitch: Well, I did find some things I'd been missing -- a Hot Wheels car, a hair thing or two, and an entire little card game from Chick-Fil-A. But not a little green peg from a Paw Patrol game. Nor was it anywhere else I looked. Which probably means it's where Joseph said it is, which is somewhere in Matthew's large intestine. This was the first thing that happened after Kevin left for Israel and it's sort of set the tone for the antics and adventures we had with Matthew this week. (First time eating a non-food item, first time falling down the stairs [thank goodness for a soft landing], first time calling poison control [it was just a bit of medicinal cream at a friend's house and he was totally fine], first time applying eyeshadow to a cup that you just put a drenched sock in and then filling the cup with toothpaste, first time applying blush to his face, etc. But we all lived!!! And the doctor says to not worry about the peg, phew.)
The scene: Blocking traffic while getting Joseph out for school, then going and parking right next to the school right after that.
The sitch: Hey, the car in front of me was blocking traffic too! Joseph got out pretty fast, so I didn't feel bad. I turned forward to turn the hazard lights off, and when I looked back he had completely disappeared. I pulled off to the side of the road, got out, found some staff still standing at the door by the playground and asked them to go check if Joseph was in his class or not. He was. He had apparently apparated there.
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| And this is how I dressed Jacob because it was totally logical at some point in time. |
The scene: Holding a baby while playing piano at stake choir practice.
The sitch: He wanted to be held. So I held him. If people hadn't noticed his cute little feet sticking out I might have gotten away with it for longer.
The scene: Playing the piano with one hand and reaching down with the other at the same time.
The sitch: Music that you put on the music stand on the stake center piano slides off. Surprise! So I had lots of fun picking up music that kept falling off while trying to sightread. I did okay until I played an entire verse in a minor key when it was supposed to be major. It sounded pretty macabre. And then the next week I decided to intentionally place the music on the ground and crane my neck to see it. It worked great. (On my to-do list: hole punch that music.)
When my mom and sisters Kaylie and Jennie were here with their kids for a few days while Kevin was gone, my brain didn't do so many silly things. I still felt a little crazy with how much sweeping is necessary with 5 little kids in the house or how I found myself carrying the vacuum outside just one week after I vacuumed the van because it already needed it again, but in general things went a lot more smoothly. No more dumpster adventures, at least.
I guess I'm kind of like Macon Leary from The Accidental Tourist. It's good to have other people around to shoot down my totally-logical-yet-still-crazy ideas.
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