Fall Practice

This fall hasn't been an easy one. Instagram took the brunt of my woes -- pictures of cars that had been backed into, pictures of cute children captioned with 5 paragraph essays about what had made that particular day hard, even pictures of food because the fact that I was eating lunch was a monumental event.

And you know the list -- 4 business trips, husband working late every night (although at least he was around for dinner and bedtime when he didn't have Young Men's or Yale events), one kid alternating between angelic and surly, another alternating between delightful and explosive, a baby alternating between easy days and days where he couldn't be set down, multiple cosmetic and mechanical issues for both cars, an emotionally taxing calling for me and a meeting-heavy calling for Kevin, earlier sunsets and colder weather, constant teething (complete with eruption cysts), mice defying the exterminator, freezing apartment, runny noses, and just the constant slog of school, cooking, bedtime, and laundry. Especially socks. Why do kids have to wear socks.

During the early part of the fall, I was also burdened with guilt. Why was I taking everything so hard? Pretty much everyone I knew had it harder than me -- saw their husband less, had a harder baby, had morning sickness, or just had a whole lot more on their plates. And yet they seemed so stoic about it all!

Then one day last week while Kevin was in New Orleans and one of my kids was being incredibly difficult, I handled the situation calmly. "A few weeks ago, I might have raised my voice in this instance," I thought to myself. "And back then there was more sunshine, better temperatures, and better sleep, and I still did better this time." The realization that I had improved at something in life relatively quickly boosted my spirits. I didn't quite know if I had the hang of things, but I was doing better than I was before!

And so maybe that's the secret to becoming stoic about life being hard. You just keep living, and gradually you just keep getting better at dealing with things. I think there's always going to be a little bit of processing and mourning every time a new kind of hard things happens, but we really have it in us to adjust to almost anything. Especially when we have supportive friends and family.

We'll make it through the winter.