A published post about publishing music

When I'm feeling especially nostalgic, I like to go through my folder in my mom's filing cabinet. It has the scribbles from preschool, the finger paintings from kindergarten, the calendars from first grade, and the thankful journal from third grade. But my favorite piece of paper in the folder has a bunch of lines and circles and an awkwardly formed "Fall in Love."

It's the transcription of my first composition, written in 1994. The words basically go like this: "Fall in love with everything. And this is what it is."

And then it stops. I remember why. Up til there, I just played the song with my right hand. But after that, I thought the song needed left hand too. Only problem was, I didn't know how to play with both hands at the same time. And so the song just ended since I didn't know where I could go with it given my limited ability.

Sixteen years later, I find myself running up against the same problem. I've written quite a few songs since then for Reflections, seminary, Freshman Ward Musical, and other purposes. Although these songs are finished, they might as well be as unfinished as "Fall in Love" because I haven't done anything with them.

And that's partially my fault. I was afraid of becoming a Composition major because (a) there's plenty of music out there, so my stuff would just be another pile of sheet music thrown into the melting pot of music, (b) I didn't want my "style" to be changed by a well-meaning professor who thought I needed more exciting rhythms, and (c) I didn't want anyone to criticize my music. In my mind, sharing my music with someone knowledgeable was like letting someone see into my soul. If they disdained my music, it was the same as disdaining my soul.

Since then, I've been able to counter some of these arguments. (a) I've done math and engineering research for about a year now, and when I get my papers published, they will just be other papers thrown into the melting pot of research. At least someone could get some enjoyment out of music I've written. (b) I'll admit it . . . my style isn't all it could be. Exposure to other music could expand my horizons. At any rate, I doubt it would hurt my style. (c) Like basically every other college student, I've had to do a lot of writing, which means I've had a lot of my writing torn apart. I'm finally realizing that if someone disdains my writing, they don't disdain my soul. The same thing probably applies to music.

While it's a bit late to become a composition major, I still think there's hope for me. I may not see Talitha cumi on the 2012 EFY CD or make Mediocrity the theme song of incoming freshmen, but it's still possible to achieve my childhood dream of getting a song published.

At least, it's worth a try.