Family Getaway Guide: Central Park vs. Arches

Congratulations! You and your family are the recipients of a no-expenses-paid vacation to the destination of your choice! As long as it's New York City or Arches. And you're bringing the kids, of course.

Lucky for you, you already know how to travel with small children. You know that their biggest priority is the availability of things to climb on. In fact, that might be the only thing they want to do the entire day.

So that simplifies things a bit. Your potential New York City trip won't involve plays, operas, extended stays in museums, ritzy department stores, or fancy restaurants. In fact, you should probably just plan on going to Central Park this time, even though there is plenty of other family-friendly stuff to do. Likewise, your potential Arches trip will have no major hiking, biking, or extreme sports. There's a reason God created the coolest arches to be about 0.3 miles from the road, after all.

But which one do you choose? Which trip will best fit the needs of your family? To help answer that question, we scouted out both locations this past month, and we can give you the information you need to aid you in your decision-making process.

The Drive (since life is about the journey, not just the destination)

Central Park: If you start in New Haven, CT on a Saturday morning, you can expect to arrive at your secret parking spot within an hour and a half. The drive takes you through the unremarkable scenery of I-95 in Connecticut past business parks and billboards. If you accidentally end up on the George Washington Bridge, you will get a view of the Manhattan skyline. But if you figure out what your GPS and the freeway signs are saying in the nick of time, you will instead stay in New York City and be treated to a view of the Fort Hood, New Jersey skyline across the Hudson River. You will then be treated to a lot of stoplights and tall buildings before arriving at your secret parking spot.

Google Street View took this shot in January. It's prettier in April.

Arches: If you start in Provo, Utah or Duchesne, Utah, you can expect to lose 3 hours of your life driving to Arches. The beginning of the drive is lovely enough, but before too long you will become accustomed to this view.

if you're really lucky, you can find clouds that spell out Google, but it's pretty rare.

or possibly this view, if you have access to a DVD player.

Eventually, the rocks of Radiator Springs will become part of real life as the Arches skyline becomes visible.

arches not included. Not yet.

In either case, the real fun begins once you're out of the car.

Parking

Central Park: It isn't too difficult to find parking on a Saturday morning if you're willing to walk a little bit. We paid $15 for up to 12 hours at some parking lot in the western part of Manhattan.

Arches: Although there is plenty of open land to park on, most of it is covered in the cryptobiotic soil I wrote dopey poetry about for my AP Bio field trip so you would be a terrible person if you parked on it. Instead you park in real parking spaces or along the road. And that can be a little tricky, especially on popular days.

Strollers

Central Park: Unless you are planning to use public transportation, bring as many strollers as you can push. The sound of squeaky wheels is vastly superior to the sound of tired children.

Arches: No point. Not only are they impractical on the dirt, sand, and rocks, but your kids will want to run instead.

Restaurants

Central Park: Although there are something like 24,000 restaurants in New York City and several hundred near Central Park, none of them seem to offer climbability as one of their perks. So you're better off packing some apple slices to feel like healthy people and then eating hot dogs and pretzels at one of the hundred hot dog and pretzel stands near Central Park.

Arches: If you're a sandwich aficionado, you're in luck!

I mean, sure, you could hop over to Moab and see what non-Subway food exists in southeastern Utah, but if you really want to get a feel for the culture I would recommend a turkey club.

Skyscrapers

Central Park: Yep, you can see them!

Arches: You can see them here, too, depending on how liberal of a definition you use for skyscrapers.

Castles

Central Park: There's a castle!

Arches: Given that there is a town right next to Arches named "Castle Valley," there better be castles! Again, depends on how liberally you define a castle.

Window Arches. Castles have windows.

Turret Arch. Castles have turrets.

if you squint it looks like a castle

Sandboxes

Central Park: There are loads of playgrounds in Central Park, and some of them have sand. But a sandbox is only as enjoyable as you are prepared for, so the sand isn't that great when it comes down to it.
Arches: There is a lot of sand in Arches, especially by Sand Dune Arch. And if you come prepared, it's pretty magical.

Bathrooms

Central Park: Of course, there are bathrooms in the park. But if you parked in the secret parking lot, you'll walk past the Manhattan Temple on your way to the park. So, may as well use that bathroom to feel more righteous. (You'll end up using the bathroom in the meetinghouse section rather than the temple section of the building.)

Arches: Let's be real here. If God had wanted decent bathrooms in Arches, He would have created the national park with a built-in plumbing system. You'll survive what's there instead, especially if you keep your visits to a minimum and hold your breath.

Flora and fauna

Central Park: New York City in the spring is beautiful. The trees are blossoming, the flowers are blooming, the grass is green, and even if you come a week before peak it's still lovely. There are horse drawn carriages throughout the park, dogs on leashes, and the occasional birds and squirrels. There's even a small zoo that is probably just fine though I'm not qualified to report on it.

The lilacs sometimes overpowered the smell of the exhaust from nearby construction vehicles

Arches: Um, if you use Pocahontas's definition ("I know every rock and tree and creature has a life, has a spirit has a name") then yes, there are lots of life forms. Which are rocks.

Oh yes. And some sagebrush.

Dinosaurs

Central Park: If you choose to go to the Natural History Museum, you will see dinosaur bones. And you will also see lots of people looking at the dinosaur bones. And you will wonder why on earth you subjected yourself to this double torture.

Arches: Although the area near Moab has plenty of dinosaur museums, you can manage to make it through Arches without a single reference to dinosaurs. Fine with me. (Full disclosure: I didn't really read the signs at the various exhibits.)

Delicate Arches

Central Park: Um, there are McDonalds not too far that have arches. I guess. And they lead to . . . delicate health?

Arches: In addition to the official Delicate Arch, there are some other delicate arches in the park such as Sand Dune Arch (which even lost a piece of the arch this past year) and Broken Arch. And, good news for those of you who still haven't made either the 3-mile trek to Delicate Arch or the 0.5-mile trek to a good view of it -- you can still enjoy it on many Utah license plates.

Sand Dune arch. Signs said not to get too close because of falling rock.

Delicate Arch in the palm of his hand. This is basically the view from the parking lot.

Same view, just zoomed in a bit.

Double Arch. Not really delicate but really cool.

And last, but not least . . .

Climbing Opportunities

Central Park: Everywhere you turn, it seems there are more rocks to climb on. Once you decide that's the aim of the trip, it makes for a more relaxed day.

Arches: There are also rocks to climb on here. What else matters?

Joseph and Kevin are in this picture somewhere. It's not just a picture of random people.

Oh, and I guess I should mention

Price

There's a base cost of $18 for New York ($15 for parking, $3 for a toll from Connecticut) and a base cost of $25 to get into Arches. But beyond that you don't have to spend money to climb on rocks. Life is grand.

This concludes our family getaway guide to Central Park and Arches. We hope you enjoy your vacation, whichever one you choose!