Moons, Moonmoons, and Submoons

"A few years ago," the Smithsonian Magazine article begins, "an astronomer’s son asked the type of question only kids and genius astrophysicists come up with: Can a moon have a moon?"

I am here to testify that Moons can have Moons. Moons have been having Moons for generations. Furthermore, Moons can marry Moons, become Moon Moons, and have more Moons. Moons can even live with Moons while building Moon homes within a mile of other Moon homes. (According to the Smithsonian Magazine, this distance is necessary for the younger Moon residence to complete its own orbit but still be close enough to take advantage of the older Moon's gravity [or garden].)

Scientists wonder why moons don't have their own pet moons. I have the answer to that. First of all, children are not pets, so when Moons have baby Moons we don't call them pets. Second, Moons don't usually have pets because if they had pets they would have to be dopey wolves named Moon Moon to fit the theme of the family, and no one here likes big dogs.

Although no moons outside of Earth's atmosphere have been shown to have their own submoons, plenty of Moons inside of Earth's atmosphere have. Here is my photographic evidence:

As you can see, there are several Moons orbiting the Grandmoons. (Not to be confused with the other Grandmoons that live in Duchesne, of course.) These Moons or former Moons have all converged on an orbit that now only extends as far from the grandmoons as Arizona. The orbit used to include places such as Michigan, Connecticut, Alabama, New Jersey, Georgia, Costa Rica, and Spain, so the Utah gravity is definitely much stronger now!

Scientists have considered calling the moons of moons "moon-squareds." Kevin and I were of course the original "moon-squared" (see here), so naturally Joseph was called moon-cubed, at least for his first Facebook album. And these days he definitely likes three-dimensional objects, especially paper airplanes and origami animals.

Matthew is our little Moonito right now. He always wants to know how to say things in Spanish, and once when my sister asked how he said his name in Spanish, he said "pantalones."

Matthew also fits a lot of other criteria relating to moons of moons. According to the article, "In order for a submoon to survive, it needs to be small -- about six miles in diameter or less." And he is much, much less than six miles in diameter. But what he lacks in size he makes up for in volume.

Jacob is our mini Moon, and he is learning lots about gravity right now. For the past few weeks, whenever he got upset, he flung himself backwards and landed on whatever was right behind him. Luckily, he now checks behind himself when he's about to do that, and if the ground looks hard, he slowly lowers himself down backwards and then continues his mournful soliloquy.

Most of the time though he's pretty sweet and happy and very content to hug and nuzzle the pet moons we do have (stuffed animals).

Moon Moons. Submoons. Moons-squared. Moonitos. Mini Moons. Whatever science decides to call moons of moons, we're sure glad that our set of Moon babies exists!