Big

For the past few months, I've been quietly singing "because I'm big, I'm big, you know it" to the tune of Michael Jackson's "Bad." I decided that the rest of the song needed to be written, so a few weeks ago I wrote a parody. It actually follows Divine Comedy's "Good" parody more than Michael Jackson's original, but there are a few differences (including not as funny, but it's hard to beat Divine Comedy).

Anyway, without further ado, here it is:

The secret’s out

I’m a gaining weight

There’s a baby here

Growing at fast rate

My skin is tight

My middle’s full

This future soccer

player’s on a roll

They say that all the husbands

wanted slim wives in the past

But with this baby comes new curves

So that’s changing really fast

Because I’m big

I’m big

You know it

because I’m big

I’m big

you know it, you know

All the neighbors in the ward don’t know

Let’s announce it once again

I’m big!

I used to fit

In lots of things

Like tight places

and skinny jeans

But now I've got

Some extra pounds

Stick figure me

s’now nice and round

And when I get real hungry

I just go ahead and eat

If it don’t go to my middle

then it’s going to my feet!

Because I’m big

I’m big

You know it

because I’m big

I’m big

you know it, you know

because I’m big

I’m big

you know it, ya!

I’m the biggest, baddest, pregnant-est one

Let me tell you once again

I’m big!

And here is its inspiration (with a few insertions and deletions here and there):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_23tAp4Gg8

Now, if anyone wants to make a music video of pregnant women dancing to this, be my guest. Personally, I'm not ready to be part of an internet sensation. But if you are, then go for it!