Why church is never boring anymore

I had thought the adventures were over by the time we got to church. We were giving talks and had procrastinated writing them down until Sunday morning. So we had a somewhat frantic morning putting our thoughts on paper and printing them out. Luckily, we were able to get them done, and Joseph was even behaving well. He continued behaving up until we sat down on the stand for our talks, so we kept him in the car seat.

"Looks like he's smiling now," our high councilor said a few minutes before 10:30, the time that the meeting started.

"Oh, I hope it lasts," I responded. "You never know. Then again, he just ate at 10 so he ought to be good for at least a little while."

Then Joseph stopped smiling. He opened his mouth and began to throw up. Big time. It just kept on spurting out, getting on his clothes and his car seat and the carpet. We sat there frozen in horror, transfixed by the spectacle unfolding before us (I can only imagine how we looked to the congregation). When we began to reach for him, he went even more. Then finally he stopped and he sat there looking kind of uncomfortable in his vomit.

I did the first thing I could think of. I took a burp rag and tossed it at Joseph, as if that would clean up the mess. "I don't think that's going to work," Kevin said.

So we got him out and Kevin cleaned up the car seat while I carried him out to the mother's room, holding him at a distance to avoid getting all the spit-up on my new dress. I hurried in and took off his sopping wet outfit. Then he started to act hungry . . . so I fed him. I guess there was nothing left in his stomach, but I still felt like I was asking for trouble by putting more into his stomach which had already demonstrated amazing expulsion abilities.

But I was in luck. He fussed and cried and made all the other moms in the room cluck with sympathy for him, but nothing else came out of him. I put him in a new outfit and made my way back to the front of the chapel. He was calm, and all was good.

As the sacrament began, he started to fuss again. I was the first speaker, so I couldn't take him out. So Kevin got up and left with him. And then I spoke, still frazzled by the whole experience and grateful I had written my talk down word for word. When it was Kevin's turn to speak, he handed Joseph to me and I went to the mother's room and fed him again (he ate like he hadn't eaten in days). Came back into the chapel at the end of the meeting and met up with Kevin. Talked about Joseph with our high councilor who happens to be a pediatrician. Handed Joseph back and forth for diaper changes and bathroom breaks and carseat wipedowns (as I write this, Kevin is still discovering more to clean up) and fussy sessions. We missed Sunday School entirely.

Crazy to think that I ever used to get bored at church. I don't think I'll ever be bored again for a loooooooooong time.

Good thing he's so cute.

Joseph in his "graduation robes" with my dad. Oh yeah . . . we got our masters this week.