I've been debating how best to spotlight my dad today. Since I spotlighted my mom for my birthday (since she's the one who went through labor), I feel like I should spotlight my dad. Problem is, 50 is a much bigger number than 23, and since I'm still busy doing an engineery project (which is going along well, though editing can be tedious), I didn't know if I'd have time for that.
But then I thought about the number 50, and why it is dear to me. And the main reason it is dear to me is because it really kind of is the top of the hill.
Allow me to explain.
Once upon a time I used to memorize square numbers (1, 4, 9, 16, etc) while mowing the lawn to keep my mind occupied. The lawn suffered that summer, but the numbers have stayed. The reason I did that instead of something heinous like memorizing pi was that square numbers are methodical and orderly. The pattern that I discovered thrilled me so much that once I knew 1 to 50, memorizing numbers from 51 to 100 really wasn't that hard.
You see, there are only so many unique endings that a square number can take. 22, to be precise, since numbers that end in a 5 or a 0 always square to some kind of 25 or 00. If you look at the last two digits of any square number, they are:
1
4
9
16
25
36
49
64
81
00
21
44
69
96
56
89
24
61
41
84
29
76
And then what happens is that once you hit 25^2 (625), you start going back down that list. 24^2 is 576. 26^2 is 676. 23^2 is 529. 27^2 is 729.
And when do you get to the top or the bottom of that list? At 50! 51^2 is 2601, which ends in a 1 again. 52^2 is 2704, which ends in a 4 again. And so on.
So Dad, by turning 50, you really are over the hill.
And how many unique endings are there? 22! So instead of 50 things, I really only need to say 22 things about Dad. And maybe since I said 23 things about Mom, I'll find one more thing.
Without further ado (because that was a lot of ado to begin with), here are 23 reasons my dad is great:
1. He has made sure that we are good at math. So far he has managed to get his 4 oldest daughters through calculus, and we all earned 5s on the AP test.
2. He gave me a Barry Manilow CD for my 10th birthday. He and my mom deliberated about whether to get me a Broadway Kids CD or Barry Manilow CD. He was convinced that I would be better off in life with a Barry Manilow CD, so she gave in. I actually would have preferred the Broadway CD, and I don't think I ever even listened to the Barry Manilow CD because he borrowed it indefinitely, but it was a really nice gesture.
3. He taught me how to say "voy a lavar mi ropa en mi primera lavadora" so when I own my very own washing machine I can have a profound phrase to say about it.
4. He has taken the family on many, many hikes, and none of us have died.
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| Always has a hat |
6. He makes good scrambled eggs. And waffles, even though I haven't liked waffles since about a week after I got a waffle iron for my 5th birthday. (We have rejected the wicked waffle traditions of our fathers and eat pancakes in this household.)
7. He has watched more Disney Channel than any of his kids because sometimes he would work alone in New Jersey and that was the only channel he felt comfortable watching in the evenings. He never did like Miley Cyrus.
8. He doesn't care about sports except when USU beats BYU.
9. He has always been very considerate, even as a teenager. He made it a point to be very friendly and outgoing at dances and to ask lots of girls to dance, even the homely ones who turned out to be boys with scraggly hair.
10. He would incorporate treasure hunts into asking girls out for dances. They still do that in high school these days, but he did it even in college. Now I know where I get it from.
11. He sat through a lot of performances that we would put on. And he managed to do this without pulling out his phone and getting work done. This is probably because we put these performances on before smartphones were invented.
12. He was a good older brother to Shawn and made sure Shawn had the opportunity to really grow and develop. Like when they were escaping out the window because Jackie and Kelly were being too bossy and had sent them to their room, he let Shawn climb out the window first instead of testing it himself.
13. He let us put hair clips in his hair during General Conference. He always looked fantastic.
14. He is the only person I have ever met who has shown remorse about killing a mouse as a missionary.
15. Sometimes his puns are funny, or at least groan-worthy. For example, Leslie recorded this conversation:
Kyra (on a hike): Wow. I get a total workout. On the way up the back of my calves were killing. Now on the way down the front of my calves are killing.
Dad: I feel vealy, vealy sorry for you.
Dad: Are these puns just udderly awful?
Dad: Kyra, you should milk it for all its worth.
Dad: To pun is human, to forgive, bovine.
16. Ooh! 16! That reminds me of something! He pinned the boutonniere on my date's vest for every single date dance I went to in high school. I just could never figure it out and he got impatient.
17. He read the Harry Potter books to Kaylie, Jennie, Kiana, and Spencer. So he's read the first five books like four times, and the others at least once or twice.
18. He and my mom promise that they read to me, too, even though I don't remember it.
20. I have never heard him sing out of tune.
21. He is a master at four-square.
22. He made sure we always learned a lot in Family Home Evening, like that Gadianton Robbers were bad.
23. He likes to wash dishes and is the fastest dishes washer I've ever seen. And he does it basically every night.
Okay, so those were mostly silly, unsentimental reasons why my dad is great, but he really is great. I'm so glad he's my dad!
Oh, and as one more little present, here's a video of Joseph that has nothing to do with anything I've talked about.
Happy birthday!
He even helped me do the dishes at Grandma's house when I was 11 or 12. It kind of turned into a water -fight. Grandma wasn't thrilled, but the floor got mopped.
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