Talking with a Two-Year-Old

Note: This post might be more enjoyable if you watch this first to get a sense of Joseph's voice.

Right now, living with Joseph is like living with a tape recorder that takes in everything you say and plays it back when you least expect it. Kevin and I have learned the most in our lives about our speech patterns just from hearing him the last several weeks.

Us: "Would you like some watermelon?"
Him: "No, I'm okay."

Us: "Want to go in the stroller?"
Him: "Sounds good." or "Sounds like fun. Let's go."

Kevin: "We're going to play outside."
Joseph: "Kyra, are you coming?"

He's also started playacting with stuffed animals a lot, and that's been educational for us. Granted, sometimes when he's really upset, I start talking to a nearby stuffed animal about why it's sad (it works pretty well), so it makes sense that he does it too. But it goes a little differently when he does it:

"Bear, are you happy or sad?" (Waits for a response.) "Bear is sad."
Me: "Why is the bear sad?"
He starts hitting the bear. (That's probably why.)

"Giraffe, do you need a diaper change?" (Starts moving the poor giraffe's legs into horrible contorted forms.)

He's also got a pretty clear sense of how things are supposed to be in the world, and he knows when things are off.

For example, at Kevin's parents' house, there's a little two-legged table with jeans and boots on each of the legs so they look like human legs. Kevin pointed out the jeans to Joseph, who said, “That’s funny.” Then he saw that the table had boots, pointed them out, and said, “That’s so silly.”

Then, when we were at the airport, he saw that someone's hat was hanging on the person's back. He giggled. "Look! Hat on back!" (I never saw it, so I can only imagine what it looked like.) "That's so silly. Hat goes on head."

Of course, sometimes he's the one who makes things silly on purpose. "Shorts on head. That's so silly."

And then, sometimes he's just funny, whether or not he means to be:

(In the sandbox)

“I’m making a cake.”

“Will it be delicious?”

“No, it’s yucky.”

(After an exceptionally sweaty workout)

“Hi Mommy. Are you wet?” 

One night we brought him into our bed. When he woke up the next morning, he looked around the room for a minute, then said triumphantly, "We made it!"

(At every stoplight ever)

“Turn green!”

(Driving past a field) 

“Bumpy grass!”

(In the parking lot, he noticed some license plates)

J: “Letters on it!”

me: “What letters do you see?” (He lists some of them.)

J: “Where’s the J?”

Once we find it, “Oh yes. J for Joseph.”

me: “What is M for?”

J: “Mommy!”

me: “What is K for?”

A pause. “Food,” he says seriously. “K for food.”

(Playing with toys.)
"Bird on an airplane! Neer, crash! Neer, crash! Neer, crash!"

(After a Daniel Tiger episode on waiting)

“Waiting is hard. Waiting is hard.” 

(After dinner with the missionaries)

“Missionaries go to the church. And get baptized.”

Joseph helped me finish the phrases for the first several pages of Goodnight Moon. Then I got to “two little kittens,” and when I said two, he said, “I’m two! I’m two! I’m two years old! Mommy, are you two years old?”

“No.”

“Are you three years old?”

“No.”

“Are you . . . two years old?”

“No.”

“Are you three years old?” (Getting up in my face)

This lasted a while.

(Trying to open the front door with just a diaper on)

“Go outside!”

“You need to get dressed first.”

“With a belly!”

(He went outside with a belly . . . and with clothes over it, too.)

(Sitting on his potty seat too soon after a successful attempt)

"It's not working!"

And last, but not least, this interchange this morning:

(An egg was part of a toy zoo, and Joseph pointed to it.)

J: “What is that?”

me: “An egg in a nest.”

J: “Oh, yes. Oh! Egg in a book!”

me: “What book?”

J: “Rooster and an egg.”

me: “A rooster? What book?”

J: “Rooster had an egg in a book.”

me: “What book is this?”

J: “Ummm, pancakes.” (Pancakes, Pancakes by Eric Carle.)

me: “Oh, that’s right! You know, roosters don’t lay eggs.”

J: “Yeah. Just chickens lay eggs.”

(I have no idea where he learned that. Kevin explained later that only hens lay eggs, and roosters are chickens too, but I think Joseph was faking it when he was nodding that he understood.)

Although every day has its ups and downs, he sure is delightful company.