Wise and Happy

Oh, I'd known for a few months that Kevin was going to be in Belgium for 11 days, but I had chosen not to think about it at all. There were other things to get through -- his trip to Hawaii, our trip to Utah, a four-hour meeting the day he left -- so it wasn't really until he left Joseph with me at the church and left for the airport that it really sunk in. He was gone. And I had no clue what I was going to do for the next week and a half.

We had brainstormed a bit before he left. "Maybe you could hang out with [friend 1]."
"She'll be in Virginia."
"Friend 2?"
"Also Virginia."
"Friend 3?"
"Actually, she's still in Virginia too."
"Friend 4?"
"Toronto."
"Friend 5?"
"Still not back yet."
"Friend 6?"
"Latvia, I think."
"Maybe you could get to know our next-door neighbors better."
"They just moved today. Back to Singapore."

Once Joseph and I walked into the dark, empty apartment, the magnitude of the isolation really started to weigh down on me. How were we going to make it through the next 11 days?

Well, we did! This was largely thanks to a quote by President Hinckley: "You can be wise and happy or stupid and miserable." Each time a decision came up, I learned to think, "Is this wise or stupid? Will I be happy or miserable?" Eventually I learned to usually pick the wise decisions, and things were better.

Throughout it all (though mostly early on), I did make some miserable decisions, such as these:

• Not giving Joseph medicine at the first signs of pain. He ended up cutting a molar the first few days and then had a sore throat the next few thanks to a cold we both caught, and it was the worst, especially when I hesitated.
• Getting mad. I came to realize that it was a choice, even if sometimes it was a choice that was really easy to make. And even though I was often justified in my anger, I felt better once I chose to be happy. (And then I would feel sheepish for ever being mad.)
• Not going shopping soon enough. We still had plenty of food for Sunday, but since none of it was the right food (eg strawberries or any other produce) it was stressful.
• Staying up late. I have no idea why I stayed up so late every night, but I did. And it was pointless. And usually boring. And it means that the days Joseph wanted to play starting around 6:20 in the morning were days that I was kind of grumpy.
• Eating food that Joseph had staked his claim on (such as a single chip or a sleeve of Ritz crackers). Usually I didn't know he had claimed it until I had chewed a little bit, but I learned to always ask.

Luckily, with President Hinckley's voice ringing in my ears, I was able to make better decisions too, such as these:

• Asking for help. Although my friend pool was seriously diminished, it was not depleted! (This is one of the best parts about being part of a ward . . . there are so many people to turn to.) Although I stopped short of admitting that Kevin was out of town on Facebook (I'm a little paranoid), I made sure people knew. If people offered dinner or babysitting, I said yes. And I invited myself over more than normal. (Thank you everyone who helped. I owe you all.)
• Letting Joseph do most anything he wanted as long as it wasn't destructive. Or, if I didn't want him to do it (eg watch another Daniel Tiger episode), I made sure I had a pretty good alternative. 
• Oh, speaking of Daniel Tiger -- having Joseph watch the episode about trying vegetables right before I made roasted vegetables was one of the best things that happened while Kevin was gone.
• Letting Joseph roam around like this (usually he had shoes, but not always). You pick your battles.
• Keeping the house clean. To my surprise, I kept it cleaner than when Kevin is around. Probably because 1) I realized no one else would do it for me, 2) I had a bit more company than normal, and 3) my goodness, I kept losing stuff! Toys and shoes and more shoes and I just had to hunt and hunt and hunt for them and while I was at it hey look let's organize the dresser! And let's just keep the counters clear while we're at it! So that was good for my sanity.
• Exercising was also good for my sanity.
• So was eating healthily. I had sort of expected to spend my evenings eating junk, but then when Joseph caught a cold I wanted to do everything I could to avoid it, even not eating sugar (some people say that lowers your immune system, and I didn't want to risk it). It didn't end up working, and I spent one Sunday horribly congested and sick and exhausted and I lost my sense of smell entirely for the next day and a half, but at least I was eating healthily! (I'm not anymore.)
• Flirting using bad puns over the internet. I am pretty sure that is actually my love language. (Quality time is probably a close second, so I am glad Kevin's back.)
• Keeping busy. We didn't end up doing any big grand adventures, but we did attend everything we could think of, including stuff we don't usually do like storytime at the library. 

And then, finally, last night we did the wisest and happiest thing yet and picked up Kevin from the airport. And it was glorious.