A few songs

This morning, I remembered my magnum opus.

Okay, my real magnum opuses are my marriage to Kevin, my baby Joseph, and my master's degree. But besides those, I have another magnum opus. It's called "Mediocrity."

Kind of ironic, isn't it -- my greatest work is about mediocrity. But it is! It's a song I wrote 4 years ago about feeling mediocre at BYU. And today I remembered it. And I remembered that I wanted other people to know it. A few other people do -- my ward once used it in a little musical they made. (I wish they would have consulted me on things like the tempo or rhythm a bit more, but alas.) I sang it once at Acoustic Explosion. So it's not entirely unknown.

But the thing is, it's never been achieved on the large scale like I wanted. To be done right, it requires at least 4 singers as well as some dancers. It would sound better with a few instruments besides the piano. At the very least, I feel like it deserves to be sung by people who are . . . better singers than me.

Here are the words, at least. I have the sheet music in PDF form but I don't know how to add that to this blog post.

I come from a little town in Texas --

Only pianist in my ward.

I was helpful, I was needed,

At least, I wasn't ignored!

My high school was in East San Francisco --

I stood up, I stood out, was strong!

But here at BYU, I'm not different;

I'm just another Mormon in the throng.

Cuz Mediocrity is my specialty now

I used to be the very best but now I blend in with the rest

No one flocks to me as the special one now

I'd like to be important again, somehow.

They call me AP Harold --

I took 4 tests each May!

But now I'm here at BYU

That's not a lot to say!

Cuz Mediocrity is my specialty now

When all your ward got 4 point oh's I guess that's how it goes.

Please talk to me like I'm special somehow

Cuz I am feeling small and unsure right now.

I did ballet and racquetball,

Piano, tennis, band,

Was student body president

But now can't understand,

If I could be in NHS

And be first-ranked, no less,

With all my high school accolades

Why can't that save my Econ grades?

English and Chem 105

American Heritage, stay alive

Physical Science, Math 113

These classes make me want to scream!

(dance part)

Mediocrity is my specialty now

It stings, it bites, it's really lame to find out we're the same

But though mediocrity is my specialty now,

Someday I know I'll find my place

I'll help the world! You'll know my face!

Cecil, Karl, and Brigham will cheer when they find out what's in store

That mediocrity is not for me anymore!

The end.

So yeah, it needs music with it because the rhythm is a little tricky (some words have to held longer in order for the lines to scan, etc). But yeah. My magnum opus. I'm not ashamed to admit it. I am, however, too shy to demonstrate how it is supposed to sound because that would require me singing. Which is a scary thing to do on the Internet.

Anyway, my dream is that somehow someone somewhere decides to do something with this. Since I never got around to it. Surely there are some BYU students with too much time on their hands, at least in the summer.

Oh, and one other song. I realized this morning that with the changing demographics this other song won't even make sense anymore in a few years, so I ought to share it now. It's called "Freshman Reunion" and it's to the tune of "On top of Spaghetti."

At freshman reunion,

Each girl sports a ring.

You ask, when'd that happen?

Oh, two years last spring.

It started in April

When classes were through.

The girl who'd write weekly

Forgot about you.

The AP was handsome,

And he spoke Chinese.

Her little heart fluttered

When he fell to his knees.

She now has a baby!

And soon will have two.

But you should feel flattered -- 

One's named after you.

This may seem disheartening

But don't waste your time!

Those BYU sophomores

Are now in their prime!

The end. And thus ends my plea for recognition.