Chiasmus

This month has been . . . whew. Not one to be repeated. As I look back at it, I realize that the whole unrepeatable month stands alone as its own chiasmatic structure. So bear with me as I pretend to be Nephi for a bit.

January 1: I, Kyra, having been born of goodly parents, therefore I was taught somewhat in all the learning of my father and mother, especially when it came to gimmicks, decided to use the books available to make a joyous announcement. Yea, verily, I called upon my family to seek out even the best books -- Chrysanthemum, Harry Potter, the weather page of The Herald Journal, The Math Book,  and a gross nursing textbook that Kaylie liked -- and henceforth combined these into clues. And it came to pass that within these clues were given the truths that based on Bayes Theorem, hCG levels in the female body indicated a New Moon to arrive. As with Hogwarts, term would begin September 1st. And likeunto Chrysanthemum, this babe would be perfect, absolutely perfect. And it came to pass that there was much rejoicing in the land.

January 3: And it came to pass that I discovered my camera was missing. And it came to pass that we could not find it by thinking like a toddler.

January 6: And it came to pass that Kevin and I were beset with a cold that had heretofore plagued Kiana, even a cold of much congestion and stuffiness. Therefore, we did not do a session in the Brigham City temple the next day as planned.

January 7: And it came to pass that we journeyed through the wilderness home to the frozen tundra called Michigan. And we took nothing with us, save it were our family, and provisions, and an extra suitcase of Christmas presents, but not our camera. And it came to pass that there was great murmuring on the flight, or there would have been had we been able to breathe or hear due to our stuffy noses and plugged ears. And it came to pass that we journeyed from the airport to the land of our inheritance, and it was bitterly cold outside.

January 8-10: And it came to pass that I napped a lot due to jet lag, my cold, and much fatigue. It also came to pass that I took Joseph to the doctor for a cyst on his lip. And it came to pass that they didn't know what it was, but I still paid the co-pay.

January 11: And it came to pass that I planned and attended a baby shower. And it came to pass that the snow began to melt.

January 13-17: Wherefore, I being relieved of my cold, I began to unpack our possessions as well as the hand-me-downs acquired from generous ward members. And it came to pass that no pair of boots fit Joseph very well, so after one afternoon of playing outside and repeatedly putting his boots back on, we didn't play outside much. Wherefore, it also came to pass that Joseph watched a lot of Mr. Rogers while I napped due to much fatigue. It also came to pass that I took Joseph to another doctor for the cyst on his lip, and the halls of the hospital were difficult to navigate even like unto mists of darkness. And it came to pass that I am still waiting for them to schedule his surgery.

January 18: And it came to pass that I attended a baby shower. And it came to pass that the snow began to fall mightily.

January 21: It came to pass that I was beset with another stuffy nose, which I later self-diagnosed as rhinitis of pregnancy. And it came to pass that each attempt at social behavior was inhibited by my inability to talk and breathe within the same minute. And it came to pass that it was also very hard to sleep.

January 23: And it came to pass that the exceeding cold returned to the land.

January 24: And it came to pass that the rhinitis tapered off, and there was much rejoicing. And it came to pass that Kevin submitted a conference paper after working on it every evening for three weeks, and there was even more rejoicing.

January 28: And it came to pass that we received the camera in the mail, and there was yet more rejoicing. And we did sing the praises of my mother who discovered the camera in a place where no toddler could have reached.

January 29: And it came to pass that the exceeding cold and bitter windchill lingered in the land, even that we went outside only when strictly necessary. And it came to pass that Joseph received a bump on his other lip, which caused great anguish. And it came to pass that couches turned into playgrounds, and video chat with family replaced actual chat with neighbors. And it came to pass that I went stir crazy.

January 31: And it came to pass that the sun did shine again, and temperatures hit the 30s for the first time in weeks. And it came to pass that I rejoiced greatly in not having to scrape the car on the way to my ultrasound appointment, which had been scheduled to alleviate concerns about spotting. And it came to pass that I discovered that the baby was neither absolutely perfect nor absolutely present.  For behold, the very day that the joyous announcement was made was the very day the embryo stopped growing. And it came to pass that in my car there was a voice heard, lamentation, and weeping, and great mourning, Kyra weeping for her children, and would not be comforted, because they are not. But behold, I, Kyra, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are still present, such as no attendant being at the parking garage so I didn't have to pay $2.00 nor show my sorrowful face, and that the warmer temperatures allowed me to run woefully from the car to the house without fear of slipping on ice. And it came to pass that we ate Syrian food for dinner, just like Nephi might have. And it came to pass that I stopped crying, but the headache remains.

The end.

So, it doesn't take a huge amount of exegesis to see that this was not the best month. Not the worst month I've lived through yet, but definitely the dreariest. (When the majority of your outings become visits to the doctor to check your son's lip a few times, get your flu shot, get blood drawn, and endure invasive procedures, you know it's gotten bad.) Like Nephi, I am comforted that at the center of my life is a sure knowledge of God's love. "Yea, I know that he lovest his children, nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things." Because I sure don't.

February will probably be better.