Second Trimester

Since I had my 28-week appointment today, I guess I'm officially in the third trimester now. Woohoo!

So far, it's been a pretty good pregnancy. I think I've had many of the typical mild problems (this list is just so I can document it somewhere . . . heartburn, nosebleeds, fatigue, crying over weather forecasts, Braxton Hicks, leg cramps, and not fitting in clothes), but all in all, I feel pretty great most of the time, especially when baby boy somersaults around inside me. I think I had a feeling of astonishment for a lot of the second trimester, especially after my ultrasound, an astonishment that I could feel so incredibly happy for so much of the time. I guess it was the first time in a while where everything felt perfect, that life plans were finally starting to come together. In fact, sometimes that astonishment would turn into a little bit of panic -- when would the other shoe drop the way it had in the past?

As I've thought about it, I don't think it will.  I don't expect that I'll always keep up this emotional high I've been riding (negatively affected only by potty training and cold temperatures), but I think things will stay good. So, yay for that.

And, I guess that today marks not only the end of second trimester but also the end of being 24. I think the deepest thing I have to say about that is that the first half of being 24 was marked by good weather and bad news, and the second half was marked by bad weather and good news. Hopefully we can get good weather and good news for most of 25!

And, here's the most recent belly pic. Here I am with some of my pregnant friends at Institute. I think this picture shows about half of the people due between the end of May and end of July in our ward. It's . . . kind of insane.

12 weeks to go! Onward and upward! (And outward. Lots more outward on its way, I am sure.)

Five

I've been preparing for this anniversary for a while now. I went through my literature anthology to see if there were any good love poems in there. I've looked through old Facebook albums to reminisce about the fun times we've had. I've even written up marriage/relationship/friendship advice based on what's kept us so happy (short version: you are going to be happiest with someone who makes you feel like a normal, good, uncomplicated, non-awkward human being, so try to help other people feel like that when they're around you). I've come up with reasons why being married to Kevin is the best thing ever (perhaps it is that his motto for himself must be "When we're helping we're happy").

But I haven't thought of any grand, sweeping, romantic things to say that will sum up 5 years that have been both as magical as Disneyland and as natural as breathing. Except that, I guess.

Anyway, it's been great. And Kevin is great.

Looking forward to infinity more!

Independent Play

Joseph did a really, really good job of entertaining himself today with his toys. I was getting a lot done -- scrubbing the bathtub, tidying the main floor, etc. -- when I heard him singing "It's okay. You'll be all right." I decided this was worth trying to catch on video, so I grabbed the camera and went downstairs. The moment he heard me turn the camera on while I was going down the stairs, he immediately stopped what he was doing.

For the next twenty minutes or so, I tried to get him to do it in front of me, but to no avail. So I guess I didn't use my free time very productively after all.

Here are some of the videos I caught:

I thought it was funny that he started singing "It's okay" but caught himself because I was there.

At one point I left, and he started singing the song and having the animals interact again. But of course I wasn't allowed to document it.

Oh well. Maybe some things aren't meant to be documented.

Coraline

Guys, do you remember that creepy Coraline book by Neil Gaiman? The one where she ends up in this alternate reality with a creepy creepy lady who wants to be her mother and sew buttons on everyone's eyes and her parents get kidnapped by Mrs. Creepy and somehow she escapes and the hand follows her around until it falls into a well and her dad makes pizza with ham and pineapple which she thinks is the weirdest thing ever, never mind the buttons and hands and nightmares? Remember that creepy creepy book that I never need to read again?

"Look Mommy! I have scary eyes because I don't have eyelashes."

Who decided to read that to my son when I wasn't looking?

April 6

Like Joseph, I loved to build blanket forts. I would often build them by sticking heavy books on top of sheets on top of stools and draping the sheets across the stools and the table. Then I would go in with my dolls and books and hang out until it got stuffy or boring.

One day, I built a fort. Before I got in, I asked my mom, "What day is Easter each year?" The answer was sort of complicated because it involved full moons and first day of spring and whatnot, so I didn't really get it. Then I asked, "Can my birthday ever be on Easter?"

"No. It just happens between March 20th and April 25th." (Or somewhere around there.) I was sad that my birthday missed it by just a few days, especially since Leslie got to have her birthday on Easter once.

"When is Jesus's birthday?" I asked.

"April 6th is what they say," she said.

I sighed and went into my fort. I didn't have Easter and I didn't have Jesus's birthday. While in my fort I said a little prayer that went basically like this: "Heavenly Father, Jesus was actually born on my birthday, right?" I felt good about it, so I spent the rest of the time in my fort happy about this little secret we had kept from the rest of the world.

§

This morning, I woke up and thought, "It's Mormon Christmas!" I had long since given up on insisting that Christ was born on my birthday and had decided to agree with the apocryphal quotes and context clues that most of us subscribe to that suggest that Christ was born on April 6th.

Then I went downstairs and checked Facebook. The first thing I saw was from an old friend who had a link to some reputable article saying that Christ was likely born in December. I didn't read it because it first cost money and then when he fixed the link the pdf was sideways. And it was long.

I was mildly intrigued nonetheless so I ran to my copy of Jesus the Christ by James E. Talmage. Hmm. He was less authoritative about it than I was expecting. I googled December temperatures in Israel and found them to be livable. Kevin googled when lambing season would occur in Israel, with only ambiguous results. The verdict? Well, it could have been December.

Although this is a small point of trivia that has no real bearing on pretty much anything, I felt a little sad. For one thing, all my plans for Mormon Christmas suddenly seemed pointless (okay, not that I had any, but I wouldn't have felt weird singing Christmas songs today). For another thing, I no longer had the small bit of satisfaction that came from sharing a birthmonth with the Savior. Was that going to be taken away from me too?

But Kevin had some words of comfort for me. "Well, if it wasn't April 6th, it might have been your birthday after all!"

At any rate, I think I will make it through today without hiding in a blanket fort.

How to strengthen the family

On Saturday night, I attended the General Women's Meeting of General Conference. There was a very strong theme of family, particularly in Sister Bonnie Oscarson's talk about defending the family and the Family Proclamation.

As I thought about it later, I felt like there were more ways to strengthen and defend families than what may have been mentioned. Furthermore, the next day when I went visiting teaching, it hit me that outside my middle class culture, the family really truly is under attack. (Also, this.)

So, here are some ideas I had for how to strengthen and defend the family.

• Stay close to God through prayer and scripture study. And if you have a family, pray and read scriptures with them.
• Keep in contact with your family, and don't just call parents/siblings/whoever when you need money.
• Create jobs suitable for teenagers so they develop work ethics and become more desirable spouses. You probably shouldn't have to pay them $15 an hour.
• Treat your employees right.
• Do your home and visiting teaching.
• Be selective about the media you allow into your house. Don't substitute TV for quality time, especially if the TV shows are violent or sexual.
• Fill your children's lives with kind words and lots of hugs so they don't look elsewhere for acceptance.
• Don't kick your child out of the house as a teenager if they happen to be gay. That won't fix anything.
• If you want to help strengthen families beyond your immediate reach, consider donating to organizations that help keep people healthy and well-fed and employable. Fistula Foundation is good. So is Kiva. So are lots of things.
• Do your family history, even if you are sort of mad at your ancestors or the aunt who happens to know a lot about it. (This isn't my case, but it happens.) I am amazed sometimes at how much of my identity I get from knowing about my ancestors, and how much more patient I am with myself, my parents, and so on because I know these stories, good and bad.
• Make homemaking a more gratifying experience. This may sound silly, but I get a lot of joy out of cooking in part because I know Kevin is willing to like what I cook. And, conversely, try to cook foods people will like.
• Serve in the community with your family. This not only helps the community but teaches your kids that you are a family that serves. And that, my friends, is a very powerful family culture to develop.
• Don't always seek friends exactly like you, no matter your age. If you feel like you have a healthy family, reach out to others who may not.
• Pay attention to kids in your community and look for signs of neglect. (FYI, them walking home from the playground alone at the age of 10 is not what I would call a sign of neglect, unless it was cold and they didn't have a coat.)
• Treat your spouse kindly and respectfully.

Any other ideas? There were lots of things I didn't even touch on.

Taller

Joseph says at least one of these a day. And often all of them in a row.

"When I get bigger, I can watch Spiderman."
"I eat vegetables so I get taller and taller and taller!" (not that he eats them, but he gets the concept.)
"When the missionaries were here I ate broccoli so I can get taller and taller and taller and watch Spiderman!" (true story, and we were shocked)
"I'm going to have a birthday! And I will get taller and taller and watch Spiderman. And I will have a bus cake!"
"How old will you be on your birthday?" I ask.
"Two." (Or twenty-two.)

Actually, I'll just pause here for a moment. Speaking of birthdays, he is obsessed with them. He has made 6 birthday cards this month, each with various themes. Well, usually he wants me to draw a taxi or police car on them. I haven't taken any pictures of them, unfortunately. They all have the same template: cake on front, person's name somewhere, balloons somewhere, happy birthday (unless he insists I write birthday with an 'f'), done.

"Grrr. I'm a bad guy." (various kickboxing poses.)
"Spiderman is a bad guy. But he's a helper bad guy. When I eat carrots I get taller and taller and I can be a helper."

And so on.

I guess that if his birthday were tomorrow, his cake would have Spiderman being a helper on a bus. And it would probably have hidden vegetables so he can get taller and taller and taller.

"He's climbing on a wall! That's so silly."